"Whom have I ever despised that loved Me?"

i read this yesterday in my St. Liguori book (Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ) and actually it made me cry. sometimes i have this fear.. what if i'll spend my life loving God and following Him, but in the end He will reject me anyway.. like if i leave Orthodoxy.. i don't know i've heard that a lot from many people and read that in articles too.
and it's so amazing to realize that ..no, God really looks at my heart.. that He won't reject me if i don't reject Him.. and that i can ALWAYS know that He loves me, because He has loved me even till death.. on the cross, tortured and beaten and forsaken.. wow.. how can i still not trust Him fully, after all that?! forgive me Lord..

"Nothing can so terrify us, as much as Jesus Christ can reassure us. Let my sins surround me, let my fears of the future accuse me, let the demons lay their snares for me. As long as I beg mercy of Jesus Christ, who is all kindness, who has loved me even until death, I cannot lose confidence; for I see myself so highly prized that a God gave Himself for me.
My Jesus, safe haven for those who seek you out in the storm; my vigilant shepherd, those who do not trust You are deceiving themselves, if only they have the will to amend their lives. That is why You said: Here I am, don't be afraid: I am He who troubles and who consoles. Sometimes I put persons in scenes of desolation that seem like hell; but then I pull them out and console them. I am your advocate; I have made your cause My own. I am your guarantor; I have come to pay your debts. I am your Lord, who redeemed you with My blood, not to abandon you, but to enrich you, having ransomed you at a great price. How shall I flee from those who seek Me, when I went forth to meet those who sought to outrage Me? I did not turn away My face from those who struck Me; and shall I turn it from those who would adore Me? How can My children doubt that I love them, seeing Me in the hands of My enemies out of love for them? Whom have I ever despised that loved Me? Whom have I ever abandoned that sought my help? I go out in search even of those who do not seek Me."
John of Avila