prayer

(i'm posting this so that i may remember how far i still have to go in loving God)

my Jesus
You did not turn away from suffering, but obeyed the Father, and loved to the end..
when i suffer..my pain is nothing compared to Yours..but so often i complain
and how many times i've prefered my own comfort to following You!
how little i must love You then..if i'm not willing to endure pain for Your sake, even after all You've done for me,
to pick up my cross and follow You..
i am sorry Lord..see how i cry because i love You so little, have mercy on me..
please make me love You fully
even if it will hurt me
that wouldn't matter, because You are my only Treasure
let me love as You have loved
let me not turn away from any suffering, but offer it to You
let me understand Your Passion, even if i'll have to share in it

change my heart.. so that:
i'd want the crown of thorns more than the crown of gold
i'd want the cross more than all the pleasures and riches of this world
i'd count it a blessing to suffer as You did..but not count myself worthy
i'd rather be humiliated than praised by others (i even fear asking for this!)
i'd always be obedient and totally surrendered to Your holy will
when i am misunderstood, or lonely, let it bring me closer to You
and then i will rejoice in my suffering
change my heart so that i'd rather give than receive
how can i live in comfort and luxury while my Lord was stripped of His garments
and tortured, for love of me?
no servant is greater than his Master
help me love the poor, and see You in them
and be ready to give up anything for You, counting all things as loss compared to You

Lord i offer You my poor heart, so selfish and proud and vain
i beg You.. change it to the pure heart of a child
that i may be simple and humble and do only Your will..most of all, i ask for love
it is the greatest gift
..help me love

Lord all this seems so unattainable..
but this i know: all things are possible with You
i dont think i can ever be like the Saints
but i ask this..help me love You with ALL MY HEART
and that would be enough for me
i'm not asking for great deeds or great sanctity or glory in heaven..(You are my Heaven)
but for GREAT LOVE
and let YOUR will be done in my life

today You gave me a great grace..
thank You Jesus because i know this brings me closer to You
thank You for answering my prayer
take me further..
and give me the grace to always love and adore You

i repeat St. Liguori's prayer:
"May the sorrows of Jesus, the ignominies of Jesus, the wounds of Jesus, the death of Jesus, the love of Jesus thrust themselves into my heart, and may their sweet memory remain there forever to wound me continually and inflame me with love.
I love You, my Jesus; I love You, my sovereign good; I love You, my love, more then my entire being: I love You, and I want that love for You to last forever."


amen.