sin

someone shared this with me.. and it really made me think

"What would you do if Jesus walked in and caught you in the act? Imagine His face full of tears, watching you destroy yourself in whatever way it is you destroy yourself. Imagine Him asking you "why are you doing this?" Imagine yourself trying to come up with some excuse to explain this behaviour that will sound adequate, and coming up blank. And when He reaches out to you to take away your pain, imagine yourself slapping His hand away because you don't want to stop. "Not yet. Just a little longer. I still need it. I can't let it go." So He sits down on your floor and tells you that He isn't going to leave you; He just sits there and watches you. And you, needing so badly to keep destroying yourself, continue with the behaviours. He just sits and watches you, crying for you, silently inviting you come crawl up in His lap and find peace from your pain. But you don't, because you think you need to keep going with what you were doing. Because you want to keep going. "I'll be there soon, Jesus. Just let me finish first." So you keep bingeing, or purging, or chewing and spitting, or starving, or cutting yourself, or doing drugs, or having sex, or hurting someone, or allowing someone else to hurt you. While He watches.

How am I going to justify this? When really, in light of eternity, there is no excuse that comes close to being good enough..

I am breaking God's heart."