what Adoration really is

to adore: "To love with one's entire heart and soul; regard with deep respect and affection"

I had this realization yesterday...when we go to Eucharistic Adoration.. this is the God we are worshipping:

Revelation 5

Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals." Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth." Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!" Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!" The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.


Jesus is love.. He's the source of...all wisdom, all power, all glory.. He owns everything! ALL authority has been given to Him. He can create another world right now or destroy this one, He can do anything! ALL CREATION shouts His praise. All the earth! and the heavens! and one day, everyone - every single person who ever lived - will fall down before Him...every knee shall bow.. and He's the only one worthy of our worship! He deserves to be lived for, died for, He deserves all the love we have in our hearts..and more..

and..He's RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!! His glory is hidden.. but He is there...

it's almost unbelievable!

He has so much humility..to not only become a human being and die for us, but to then become the Eucharist, and nourish us with His very Body and Blood. wow!! this is the great secret...that the God of the universe loves us more than even His own glory...that He would hide His majesty so that we can approach Him..and remain hidden in bread and wine for love of us.. even though WE have hurt Him with our sins. how can we deserve something like this?? it's impossible to deserve! this is how great His mercy is!

Mercy is His greatest attribute and glorifies Him more than anything else (St Faustina)
it is only His love that makes this bearable for Him, because I can't imagine how our Lord could possibly become ..something so small..and stay alone in the Tabernacle day and night for our sake
that is how much He loves each of us! And all that He wants is for us to love Him in return with all our hearts, to give ourselves to Him as He gives Himself to us. :) this is what we were created for

sin

someone shared this with me.. and it really made me think

"What would you do if Jesus walked in and caught you in the act? Imagine His face full of tears, watching you destroy yourself in whatever way it is you destroy yourself. Imagine Him asking you "why are you doing this?" Imagine yourself trying to come up with some excuse to explain this behaviour that will sound adequate, and coming up blank. And when He reaches out to you to take away your pain, imagine yourself slapping His hand away because you don't want to stop. "Not yet. Just a little longer. I still need it. I can't let it go." So He sits down on your floor and tells you that He isn't going to leave you; He just sits there and watches you. And you, needing so badly to keep destroying yourself, continue with the behaviours. He just sits and watches you, crying for you, silently inviting you come crawl up in His lap and find peace from your pain. But you don't, because you think you need to keep going with what you were doing. Because you want to keep going. "I'll be there soon, Jesus. Just let me finish first." So you keep bingeing, or purging, or chewing and spitting, or starving, or cutting yourself, or doing drugs, or having sex, or hurting someone, or allowing someone else to hurt you. While He watches.

How am I going to justify this? When really, in light of eternity, there is no excuse that comes close to being good enough..

I am breaking God's heart."

the parable of the lost son

this is one of my favourite passages from the Bible..

11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. 13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]' 22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate. 25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' 28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Pope Benedict's quote about suffering

when i read this i thought ..this is very true.. i never saw it this way.
i think God had a choice regarding all the suffering in the world..to either take it all away in a moment..
or, to share in our suffering out of love for us and then take it away.

“In order to heal us, He does not remain outside the suffering that is experienced, He eases it by coming to dwell with the one stricken by illness, to bear it and to live with him. Christ’s presence comes to break the isolation which pain induces. Man no longer bears his burden alone. As a suffering member of Christ, he is conformed to Christ in his self-offering to the father.”
Pope Benedict

Spiritual Adoption

i recently came across this site:

http://www.spiritualadoption.org/

then i started thinking about all those babies who are killed every day..and just how tragic that is and how much that grieves God... and on Sept. 10, 2008, i decided to 'spiritually adopt' a baby. i will pray for the unborn baby every day for 9 months (until June 10, 2009). I'll be saying the prayer from the website, and also a Hail Mary and i'll be asking our Lady to keep the baby in her care...so that the parents' minds are changed, and the mother decides not to abort, and that the baby would grow up to know the Lord.

Shadowfeet

by Brooke Fraser

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

You make all things new

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

St. John's sermon

"St. Jerome relates that when age and weakness grew upon him at Ephesus, so that he was no longer able to preach or make long discourses to the people, he used always to be carried to the assembly of the faithful by his disciples with great difficulty; and every time said to his flock only these words, "My dear children, love one another." When his auditors, wearied with hearing constantly the same thing, asked him why he always repeated the same words, he replied, "Because it is the precept of the Lord, and if you comply with it, you do enough ": an answer, says St. Jerome, worthy the great St. John, the favourite disciple of Christ, and which ought to be engraved in characters of gold, or rather to be written in the heart of every Christian."
http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/JOHNEVAN.HTM

i love this story.. maybe the people who came to listen to St. John expected a complex, sophisticated message, and were disappointed when the Apostle said something so simple and seemingly obvious.. but these are the words of Christ.. "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it" John, 'the beloved disciple', said to them the most important thing..and those who became like little children and opened their hearts to this message, received more truth than if they were taught by philosophers or theologians. "Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 Cor. 1:20

I'm also reminded of these words from the Imitation:

"What good does it do to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity? Indeed it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God. I would rather feel contrition than know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without grace and the love of God? Vanity of vanities and all is vanity, except to love God and serve Him alone."

"EVERY man naturally desires knowledge; but what good is knowledge without fear of God? Indeed a humble rustic who serves God is better than a proud intellectual who neglects his soul to study the course of the stars. He who knows himself well becomes mean in his own eyes and is not happy when praised by men. If I knew all things in the world and had not charity, what would it profit me before God Who will judge me by my deeds?

Shun too great a desire for knowledge, for in it there is much fretting and delusion. Intellectuals like to appear learned and to be called wise. Yet there are many things the knowledge of which does little or no good to the soul, and he who concerns himself about other things than those which lead to salvation is very unwise. Many words do not satisfy the soul; but a good life eases the mind and a clean conscience inspires great trust in God.

The more you know and the better you understand, the more severely will you be judged, unless your life is also the more holy. Do not be proud, therefore, because of your learning or skill. Rather, fear because of the talent given you. If you think you know many things and understand them well enough, realize at the same time that there is much you do not know. Hence, do not affect wisdom, but admit your ignorance. Why prefer yourself to anyone else when many are more learned, more cultured than you? If you wish to learn and appreciate something worth while, then love to be unknown and considered as nothing.

Truly to know and despise self is the best and most perfect counsel. To think of oneself as nothing, and always to think well and highly of others is the best and most perfect wisdom. Wherefore, if you see another sin openly or commit a serious crime, do not consider yourself better, for you do not know how long you can remain in good estate. All men are frail, but you must admit that none is more frail than yourself."

i think this is such a useful reminder.. it is so easy to get caught up in all the theology and studying and feeling proud of yourself for "understanding so much"..or in human philosophy.. i was there once.. when all along i missed the most important truth of all, and understood nothing.

"become like little children.."

Love is indeed the most important thing and the fulfilment of the law.. and not just loving our friends, but people we disagree with, people who are our enemies, and people who are really difficult to love.. for that is how Christ loved us.. that is such a challenge though, and requires so much humility. i pray that God would help me be more loving..that He would help me see the world with His eyes, show His mercy and kindness to others, and that He would change my heart to be more like His.. I think..if we love God and neighbour, that would help us obey the other commands as well.. and if we think we're obeying the law but we have no love, it all means nothing.

"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Col 3:14

prayer to St Faustina

today i was feeling so far from God.. due to homework and other duties i haven't been praying as much, and it was so difficult to resist sin. in fact i gave in many times.. i didn't know how to get back to Him..i didn't feel like God loves me and even doubted this, i felt like He was angry at me for failing so much.
and then someone on facebook sent me this prayer, and it just reminded me that God's mercy is stronger.. i was encouraged.. these are the exact things that i was struggling with: fear, doubt, and i forgot who i am and who God is..i felt like things were just getting worse and worse and i didn't know how to fix them. but this helped me remember that..i should rely on God, because "my life is in His hands". i believe that even if we fail a lot, if we sincerely try our best God will take our efforts and use them..and give us the grace to really improve.. as long as we're willing to cooperate with His grace, He will provide us with what we need. He knows there are so many distractions all around and so many things that cause us to stumble..so much evil out there.

"Dear St. Faustina, I have come to know you as a friend. I ask you to plead to the Lord for me the prayer I ask of you. In times of doubt, dear friend, implore the Lord's Mercy as you did so often here on earth, that I may remember who I am, and to what His mercy has called me.

In times of fear, implore His Mercy that I may ever remember to trust, and trust again, in joy, and in the knowledge that God is preparing me for a beautiful mission.

Please pray dear St. Faustina, that I may never forget that the abyss between my Lord and I has been bridged by His tender mercy. He will continue to be faithful and heal me of anything which stands in the way of His Will. My life is in His Hands.

Thank you dear friend. Pray with me the prayer Our Lord taught you to spread throughout the world; Jesus, I trust in You! Remind all pilgrims of life that if our trust is great, there is no limit to Jesus' generosity.

Amen."

St Gemma Galgani

http://www.stgemma.com/index.html

i've never read about St. Gemma before.. i just finished reading her story. woww... it's really amazing how much she loved the Lord and the graces she received. she has such a beautiful soul.
after reading this.. i want to spend more time in prayer.. and to sin less; to seek greater holiness than i currently have. unfortunately sin is so ingrained in me.. for most of my life, i lived without God and without repentance, and i have all these bad habits that i can't seem to break. i wish i had always known Him..and that i had been protected from all the really terrible sins i did. but..i think God can really be glorified in a sinners life too by giving the grace to turn away from all that sin! i pray that my life would bring glory to Him.

Prayer of St. Gemma..
"Oh Jesus, why am I not burned up with love for you? Why is it that my heart is not consumed with Love's flame? Why is it that my love does not correspond to yours? Oh Jesus, how much time I have lost! How many years I could have loved You and I did not do so. But your bounty makes me hope to be able to make up for lost time.

Why did you suffer for me, dear Jesus? For love! The nails.., the crown.., the cross... all for love of me. For You I sacrifice everything willingly. I offer You my body with all its weakness and my Soul with all its love. My God, dear Jesus, remove whatever malice may be at the bottom of my offering, and then accept it. Do not abandon me, Jesus, I am yours. Take care of my soul. Think of what you have borne to save it. Surely they are right who say, 'To suffer is to love.'"

another thing i find so encouraging about St. Gemma is that she was not a nun, but a lay person.
that encourages me because it shows that someone could live in the world yet still spend lots of time in prayer and know God so closely.. i must admit though sometimes there are so many distractions all around.. this is something that must be overcome, we should not let ourselves be distracted from God.

i read that she had the stigmata.. this is a very new concept for me. i think some people have faked it in the past but for others it was real.. (like St. Francis of Assisi, St. Padre Pio, St. Gemma of course)
i guess that is how these people shared in Christ's suffering and understood more of His pain and love on the Cross..

today's Mass was different..

i think that God is trying to take me further.. i told Him a few days ago that even though i had received signs that He wants me to be Catholic..i'm not yet at the point when i can take the next step.. i think what He is doing now is He's taking away all the signs - maybe He wants me to rely on faith more..or maybe He's getting me to a point where i feel relatively neutral about Catholicism and Orthodoxy and care more about doing His will. in February i didn't really want to be Catholic.. this summer however, i REALLY did. but then i was praying that He'd just change my priorities, that i would be more ready to lay down my own will..if i do, and then He leads me to Catholicism once more..then i'd KNOW it's from Him. it seems that He is answering this prayer.. i may be wrong..
but whatever is happening,
LORD YOUR WILL BE DONE!

Sacrament of love

"All expressions of love, even the highest and the most profound, are verified in the Eucharist. Thus, it is a Love that is crucified, a Love that unites, a Love that adores, a Love that contemplates, a Love that prays, a Love that delightfully satisfies,"
Fr. Stefano Manelli

"but why is it that Jesus Christ so longs for us to receive Him in Holy Communion? Here is the reason: Dionysius the Areopagite says that love always sighs and aims for union, and we read in St. Thomas, "Lovers desire to cease being two and to become one". now this has led the infinite love of God not only to give us Himself completely in the eternal kingdom, but even in this life to let men and women possess Him in the most intimate union possible, by giving Himself to them completely under the appearances of bread in the sacrament....

..He could not satisfy His love by giving Himself entirely to the human race by His Incarnation and by His Passion, dying for all people. He sought to find a way to give Himself entirely to each one of us in particular; and so He instituted the sacrament of the altar in order to unite Himself fully with each one of us: "those who eat My flesh and drink My blood abide in Me, and I in them". (John 6:56). In Holy Communion Jesus is united with the soul, and the soul with Jesus; and this is not a union of mere affection, but a true and real union. Hence St. Francis de Sales says: "In no other action can the Savior be considered more tender or more loving then in this one, where He annihilates Himself, so to say, and reduces Himself to food, in order to penetrate our souls and to united Himself to the hearts of the His faithful."

-St. Liguori

stations of the Cross

Jesus is condemned to death

Lord Jesus You are the King of all the universe.. You are the eternal Word through whom everything was created.. and here You are condemned to death by Your own creatures!! You made them, and now You're letting Yourself be killed by them? You lay down Your life freely... that is how much You love.. Your love is stronger than death, stronger than anything, You have loved us more than Your own glory.

Jesus receives the cross

Lord how was it for You, looking at that Cross.. knowing that so soon, You would be nailed to it and left to die.. were You afraid? But You embraced Your cross. Lord let me embrace my own cross for love of You.

Jesus falls the first time

Lord then You fell and heard the mocking laughter of the soldiers.. there is no one more powerful and strong than You, yet You let Yourself take on a human nature; be so weak.. You fell.. Lord i wish i was there to help You as You carried that Cross

Jesus meets His Mother

Mary, how much sorrow you must have felt seeing your Son in so much pain.. Your heart was pierced by a sword of grief also. How you love Jesus..You were with Him to the end. help me love Him too and help me not be afraid to suffer with and for Him..

Simon of Cyrene carries the cross

Lord let me too share in Your suffering! give me courage for this..

Veronica wipes Jesus' face with her veil

Jesus, Veronica loved You so much and she comforted You in Your sorrowful journey.. let me comfort You too Lord and console Your Heart that is so wounded by our sins..give me the grace to always love You and to never stop loving You not for one moment. let me bring You joy and delight Your Heart.

Jesus falls the second time

Lord You are Almighty yet You made Yourself so weak, so vulnerable, for us, so that we can come to You in our weakness..

Jesus meets the daughters of Jerusalem

Lord even during Your great suffering, You still thought of others..and offered them wisdom and guidance

Jesus falls the third time

Lord Your humility amazes me.

Jesus is stripped of His garments

Jesus You deserve all the glory of the world and all the glory of Heaven.. yet Your crown was a crown of thorns..
You are the King of Mercy, yet You were beaten and scourged mercilessly..till You were covered in blood..
You allowed Yourself to be mocked and treated with such cruelty. You went through so much Jesus i don't understand how You can love us this much.
i find it so hard to give up the smallest things for You and You gave up everything, You endured everything.. help me love You above all else

Crucifixion: Jesus is nailed to the cross

Jesus i can't imagine the torture.. You were forsaken by Your friends, betrayed, in unimaginable pain.. and then watched as the people You came to save, the people You loved before creation, the people You made to know Your love...nailed You to a cross to die. when You saw the soldiers driving the nails through Your hands and feet..did You still love each of them.. You prayed "Father forgive them for they know not what they do".. i am so amazed at Your love Lord!!!!
Jesus i just realized that..every time i sin i crucify You too. i can't stand this it breaks my heart..

Jesus dies on the cross

Lord..my dear Jesus..You died, in torment, sinless and holy but separated from Your Father, with all the weight of our sins upon You.. i can't imagine the loneliness You felt..You are ONE with the Father but at that moment, in the moment of such agony, He turned His face away.. how much He must have suffered too!!! Lord this is too much for me to understand, Your love is too much for me to understand..
and before You died, You cried "I thirst".. You thirst for souls and for us to return Your love, You want so much for all to accept Your mercy and to live with You forever, to be redeemed and united with the Father.. and You knew so many would reject You, and in spite of all Your suffering *still* be separated from You for all eternity (how the loss of souls must hurt You!!!) yet You still went through all all this.

and when You died...Your Sacred Heart, so full of love and mercy and kindness..was pierced by a sword
Jesus i can't take this in..
You told St. Faustina, the "ocean of Mercy opened up for the whole world".
the Divine Mercy image...
"The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls. These two rays issued forth from the depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him"



I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER DISTRUSTED YOUR MERCY, EVEN AFTER ALL THIS !!! Jesus please forgive me that i have.. i love You, i want to always love You, with all my heart.. i want to always trust You my Jesus..
Lord i can't understand how great Your love is and no words are enough to describe it.. i am the one who crucified You, i am the one who mocked You, i am the one who hated You.. this is how i repaid You for loving me from all eternity, for creating me with such a great hope and plan.. this is how i repaid You..
and You had all the right to destroy me or put me in hell forever, but instead You...GAVE YOUR LIFE FOR ME....You hung on the cross, in unimaginable pain, SINLESS, HOLY, for me... You loved me, i hated You, hurt You with my sins, and You still loved me MORE THAN YOUR LIFE.

words are not enough..

Jesus' body is removed from the cross

Jesus is laid in the tomb and covered in incense.

being honest..

Jesus i don't know how to discern Your will anymore.. i'm afraid to be catholic cause i don't want to trust my feelings, but i'm afraid to not be catholic because i don't want to deny Your grace. i'm so tired.. just be with me Lord.. please.. You have never left me, Jesus through all my trials You were always such a great Friend. i have never found rest anywhere else. please hold me.. You see i'm so weak, i can't even rejoice in my trials and i find it difficult to remember that there are SO MANY PEOPLE who suffer SO MUCH MORE.

You showed me about the Eucharist and i don't know why because i dont love You as i should and i'm proud and i fail every single day, and You gave me all these beautiful thoughts but i can't seem to put them into actions.. like that idea about praying for lonely people who are suffering in the world.. i could never have thought of that without Your grace. cause i don't love that much. and someone hearing about that might think i'm a good Christian or something when in reality i struggle so much with everything. what's the point of beautiful thoughts and prayers when my actions are evil. see i'm such a hypocrite..

so i don't know why You showed me about the Eucharist when there are people who are much better christians and don't know about it. so maybe..i just pray that i'll glorify You through my weakness then, if in no other way. THANK YOU that i'm so weak cause then it's so obvious all this is not from me :) anyone who knows me would see it had to be Your work. i'm glad.. let it be this way.. just let Your will be done; i keep on praying this but i don't even know if i'm surrendered to Your will or not.

i want to love You so much though.. i think, You're in the tabernacle all alone.. i want to be with You.. is that a good enough reason to become catholic??
how can i not want to be near You after You've shown me so much love.. i still can't believe anyone could love me this much..but You do.. only You.. please please just hold me near to Your Heart now because i'm so tired and i'll find no comfort anywhere else, i know. i doubt that you will, i'm so sorry, because my own heart is not pure but proud, even now i am proud.. it is only those who are humble, those who are like little children who are able to approach You. but Jesus You said Your mercy is greater than sin.. let it be greater than my sins, Jesus because of Your love and mercy please don't reject me.. You're all i want, so if You reject me i'll have nothing in this whole world..

this whole day i was just longing to go to Adoration and be there with You.. the world just seems empty.. please just give me strength so i won't despair, and won't keep on thinking about myself all the time but focus on serving You and others.. let Your love and mercy and joy flow through me somehow; into other souls... help me not feel disappointed at my failures cause i know thats just more pride and self love; but instead just seek to follow You with all i have anyway... and maybe someday i'll become who You made me to be..completely obedient to You..

i can't find the words.. Lord You know me, You understand what i'm trying to say...

when i think about what You went through.. on the Cross..
You gave Yourself for me, so i want to give myself to You, entirely.
and when i'll receive the Eucharist, i want to give You all my love and to welcome You with a pure heart, a pure soul, totally cleansed from sin.. so that You will "reign in me as in Heaven". i have so much more to say...but i don't know how to say it. You know my heart..

irresistible novena

Irresistible Novena to Mary, "Queen of the Holy Rosary"
http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/rosary6.htm

Rosary - 27 days - in petition (3 novenas)
Rosary - 27 days - in thanksgiving (3 novenas) whether or not the prayer has been answered

In Petition:

"Sweetest Virgin Mary, Mother of God and my Mother, please accept this irresistible novena which i offer up to you for the intentions i plead. i place before you all the intentions, needs, and desires of my heart and soul. i beg of thee to pray for my intentions (in particular...) i trust in your intercession and know our prayers will win for me what i so desire. amen."

(after each decade)

Sorrowful Mysteries

"Sweetest Jesus crucified behold Your sorrowful Mother prays for me. can you despise her prayers, she who suffered so much for love of You? on behalf of her tears, on behalf of her most motherly and loving heart pierced by a sword of grief, hear her prayers on my behalf. My Jesus, i know it is impossible for You to despise this most loving Mother's prayers. amen"

Joyful Mysteries

"Jesus please hear the prayers of Your most holy Mother for my intentions, she whose womb You dwelled in and sanctified. i know her Immaculate soul is most pleasing to You, she who was blessed above all creatures as to be freed from all stain of sin since the moment of her conception. please do not despise the many sighs from her Immaculate Heart, she who loved You more than any other creature. amen"

Glorious Mysteries

"Jesus, King and God, You loved Your Mother so much that You most willingly assumed her body and soul into Heaven. now that she is beside You in Heaven, pleading our every cause, will You despise her prayers? her love for You is most pure, and You have always been her only Treasure. will You despise the prayer of this Loving Queen, You Yourself crowned? amen"

in thanksgiving

"Mary i thank you so much for the graces you have given me and for these intentions of mine whi you have prayed to be granted. i offer up this irresistible novena in thanksgiving for all that you have given me. i love you so much and i place upon your head a crown of roses. may every "Hail Mary" be like a sweet song in thanksgiving offered up to You and Jesus. amen"

"Jesus my only Friend"

i love this part in St. Therese's book because i sometimes feel this way..it's so encouraging that the Saints dealt with things we deal with..

"...i used to work on in silence until the sewing class was over, and then, as nobody took much notice of me, i went into the tribune of the chapel until father came for me. here, in the silence, i found my one consolation: Jesus, my only friend. i could not open my heart to anyone else; conversations with other people - even about heavenly things - seemed tedious. it is true that my loneliness used to sadden me for a while, and i remember how often i would say that line from a beautiful poem Father used to recite: "the world is but a ship and not thy home"; young as i was, these words encouraged me, and although so many of my childish dreams have faded with the years, the symbol of a ship still charms me and makes my exile easier to bear. does not the Bood of Wisdom say: "life is like a ship that passeth through the waves: when it is gone, the trace thereof cannot be found" (Wis. 5:10) when i think about these things, i seem to look into infinity, to reach the eternal shore where Jesus embraces me. i can see Mary coming to meet me with Mother and Father and those four tiny angels, our brothers and sisters"

prayer for forgotten souls..

i was thinking the other day how there are people out there in the world who are in a lot of pain but have no one to pray for them..Mary, angels, and Saints are praying (and surely their prayers are soo powerful, much more so than mine), but no one on earth. maybe some people feel all alone and like they don't have anyone to turn to, and they don't know God.. i thought of people who are suffering right NOW, at this very moment.. i once read a story in a newspaper about a homeless man who froze to death all alone under a bridge at night. or people who are going through intense physical or emotional pain or are being abused or are feeling very lonely..especially children..

and there are probably souls in purgatory who are forgotten on earth and no one is praying especially for them here.. what if that was me? and how does Jesus feel about all this?
if we knew these people, we could show them God's love through our actions.. but we might not know them, so what can we do..

and then i had this idea, that maybe it's possible to pray something like the Divine Mercy chaplet for "a person who is really suffering right now"; someone we don't know, someone who's maybe on the other side of the world and we'll never meet.. and they might never know we prayed.. but God knows who they are, and maybe because of our prayers He would help them??
i don't know if this makes sense theologically, but it makes sense to me in my heart.
i feel like this idea is from God..

Father please help a person who is most in need right now. i do not know who they are, but You do. You see them and their circumstances and You love them. work a miracle in their life. whatever their suffering is, help them at this moment..rescue them from their sins and have mercy on them.. i feel like my prayer is so weak; "the prayer of a righteous man avails much" but i am not righteous, i lack in both love and humility.. yet Jesus IS love, and He's so humble..look not at my sins but at the merits of Your Son. for the sake of His endless love for these souls and for the sake of His sorrowful Passion on the Cross, please answer this prayer.. i offer His Body and Blood to You in union with all the Masses said throughout the world today for a soul that's in pain right now, and for all the forgotten souls in purgatory. amen.

my family in Heaven..

it's like 2 am now LOL... i'll try to put my thoughts down somewhat coherently. :P

i was thinking how i'm the only child in my family and sometimes i wonder what it's like to have siblings.. and sometimes i wish my relatives lived nearby and not so far away. well the good side of all this is that i guess it has brought my immediate family closer in a way.

but then i realized...WOW i also have a whole family in Heaven!! lol! and they all love me and are praying for me and want me to be saved... i'm never alone...
God my loving Father
Jesus
Holy Spirit.
Mary, my dear Mother
my sisters in Christ.. St. Therese, St. Faustina, St. Anastasia..
my brothers in Christ.. St. Liguori, St. Anthony, St. Francis..
my guardian angel..
wow and someday i'd meet them all. :D i hope so!!
and all my relatives who have gone Home!

Hillsong United conference!

it was awesome. God showed me so many things during this conference. especially about how important it is that we love others, that we show His love to others.. to everyone.. how we don't just praise God but also serve Him in all that we do. and of course the worship was wonderful.. just spending that time with God..