all my hope is in the Lord

i feel like such a sinner right now.. it seems that i am not doing anything right, and all my attempts at loving God are so insignificant and tainted by my sinfulness. i feel like the weakest most in need sinner who ever lived. i read somewhere that the closer we are to God, the simpler and more humble and more childlike we are.. but i don't think i'm any of these things, i'm ..proud and i don't have a pure heart. i don't have enough of anything..not enough love, not enough virtue, not enough humility....i really hope that God, who is infinite in goodness, would grant me some grace so that i can follow Him. i don't have anything of my own. oh i hope He would forgive me!!! i believe He never turns away anyone with a contrite heart!

yes, maybe the only correct thing to do right now is to trust in God's mercy and be content with being so small and weak.? St Therese wrote a lot about this and this is her "little way".. and is God not most glorified in weakness?

i want to love God with all my heart and be fully obedient to His will, and to surrender myself to Him.. like the saints did.. but i wonder if i could even do this, i trust in God's mercy but i fear that i won't be able to accept His grace the way i should. what if i'm resisting every one of His attempts to help me grow?

i don't even know. i feel like God is keeping me in some sort of darkness where i can't see what is happening. maybe even this is a grace. i'll just keep on trusting Him.. maybe this is meant to humble me.
i want to be the type of person who has forgotten self and who only cares about pleasing God, even at great cost. and someone whose only reward is Jesus Himself.

Lord i give You myself as i am..
let me be consumed by Your love.. i don't ask for consolations, but to give consolation to You.

"I desire no sensible consolation in loving; provided Jesus feel my love that is enough for me. Oh! to love Him and to make Him loved... how sweet it is..." St Therese

i think this is why i was created.. to console Jesus' Sacred Heart - especially in the Eucharist - and offer myself to Him in reparation ..even if this means suffering or trial.. to give myself as He has given Himself to me... and to do this not wanting anything in return except loving and knowing Him always. i am an in-need sinner but the Lord's mercy is endless, and i will praise His mercy forever!
Lord i know that You will never leave me..so all that i ask for is to love You forever, to let my life be an outpouring of love for You... i want to make You smile with everything i do

Lord i have no confidence in myself, but i have confidence in You.. I DO NOT KNOW how to make myself love You more, so what i will do is i will pray for this...even if it would take me many years to learn how to love You, i will keep on asking this of You Lord! i want to love You with everything i have! Jesus permit me to never be separated from You.. guard me from mortal sin.. Jesus make me Yours forever, and there is nothing else i want in the whole world.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise"

"yes, i feel it; even though i had on my conscience all the sins that can be committed, i would go, my heart broken with sorrow, and throw myself into the arms of Jesus, for i know how much He loves the prodigal child who returns to Him" (st Therese)

Jesus I trust in You!