http://www.catholicleague.org/release.php?id=1459
MINNESOTA PROF PLEDGES TO DESECRATE EUCHARIST
July 10, 2008
Paul Zachary Myers, a professor at the University of Minnesota Morris, has pledged to desecrate the Eucharist. He is responding to what happened recently at the University of Central Florida when a student walked out of Mass with the Host, holding it hostage for several days. Myers was angry at the Catholic League for criticizing the student. His post can be accessed from his faculty page on the university’s website.
Here is an excerpt of his July 8 post, “It’s a Frackin’ Cracker!”:
“Can anyone out there score me some consecrated communion wafers?” Myers continued by saying, “if any of you would be willing to do what it takes to get me some, or even one, and mail it to me, I’ll show you sacrilege, gladly, and with much fanfare. I won’t be tempted to hold it hostage (no, not even if I have a choice between returning the Eucharist and watching Bill Donohue kick the pope in the balls, which would apparently be a more humane act than desecrating a goddamned cracker), but will instead treat it with profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse, all photographed and presented here on the web.”
Catholic League president Bill Donohue responded as follows:
“The Myers blog can be accessed from the university’s website. The university has a policy statement on this issue which says that the ‘Contents of all electronic pages must be consistent with University of Minnesota policies, local, state and federal laws.’ One of the school’s policies, ‘Code of Conduct,’ says that ‘When dealing with others,’ faculty et al. must be ‘respectful, fair and civil.’ Accordingly, we are contacting the President and the Board of Regents to see what they are going to do about this matter. Because the university is a state institution, we are also contacting the Minnesota legislature.
“It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ. We look to those who have oversight responsibility to act quickly and decisively.”
i just can't believe this.. i don't care about all the politics of this.. what bothers me is what this professor is planning to do to the precious Body and Blood of Christ. i pray this doesn't happen.. it's not "some cracker", it's HIM..
just to think..what our Lord endures at the hands of people that He died to save.. :(
Lord have mercy..
edit: July 12:
Yesterday I was thinking about this professor...and I really hope and pray that if he does manage to get a consecrated Host..that God would work a miracle in his life, and this would be the way he would become a believer. For example, he would be holding the Host in his hands, planning to do all sorts of terrible things to it :( but then realizing that truly God is present there...and bowing down to worship Him instead. And then bringing the Host back to the church and becoming a Catholic. that would be so awesome!
Lord have mercy on this man.. I think he is so lost just to think of doing something like this. At first this article made me really angry...I was mad because of the disrespect Jesus is treated with. And I'm still very sad about this. But then I started thinking how God loves this person and really wants him to know Him..and to believe in the Eucharist too.. so I pray that this would happen, as unlikely as it seems...all things are possible with God.
update: July 16
I just read in a news article that the professor has acquired some consecrated Hosts. I was really hoping that this wouldn't happen.. oh no.. I'm just going to keep on praying. This is so sad :(
update: July 23rd
a pretty good article:
http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4140&Itemid=48
part 2:
http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4140&Itemid=48&limit=1&limitstart=1
I guess all I can do is pray.. pray for this lost man, that maybe he would see what he is doing and turn to the Lord.
And I should offer reparation for these offenses to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.. go to Adoration and console Him for all the pain He endures for humans.
As the article said:
"The thirsty cruelty and cowardice of Myers is manifest in this: Regardless of your views of the deity of Christ, to make oneself into a creature who deliberately desecrates the memory of an innocent Man who died in torments, solely for the purpose of spite, is an utterly pathetic and deeply evil thing"
so very true..
UPDATE: JULY 25th
oh no I just found out that he did it :(
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/the_great_desecration.php#comments
reading that..it just made me cry. i'm still crying. Just looking at that picture.. I can't believe he actually did it.
May God bring him to repentance for this most griveous sin..and have mercy on him..
most of all it's just terrible that this man showed SO much hatred and disrespect for our Lord who ..created him, loves him, and died for him.
In the miracle of Lanciano, we found out that the Host is Jesus' heart. Myers pierced Jesus' Heart with a rusty nail. His Heart that is so full of love and mercy for all.
Then he said.. "Nothing must be held sacred. Question everything. God is not great, Jesus is not your lord"
i want to pray for him.. because if he does not repent, he would be shocked to find out the truth someday, but then it would be too late.
here is a great blog post from InsideCatholic: http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_myblog&Itemid=127
quote:
"There can be no doubt that Myers is an enemy of God, and of Christians. He wants to be. But from a Christian point of view, there can also be no doubt that he is a creature of the Most High, Who loves him, and that God's heart would be grieved to lose this self-tortured man to eternity. St. Silouan teaches that we must take care not to do anything that interferes with a man's salvation.
It's plain that the raging of Christians only feeds Myers' hatred. But what would he do if the response to his hideous blasphemy is ... love? What would he do if Catholics and other Christians, and even sympathetic members of other faiths, turned up en masse on his campus simply to pray quietly for him? What kind of witness would that be to the wider culture? How might that make straight the path to salvation for P.Z. Myers, and many who now admire him? Wouldn't that be blessing those who persecute you, as Christ commands us to do?
P.Z. Myers has provided quite a witness for what militant atheism is capable of. Let's provide a counterwitness for what faithful Christianity is capable of. God may work a miracle in that man's life yet (consider the example of Saul). Let's not get in the way of the work of redemption in this lost man's life. As much as we can, let's answer hate with love."
very true..
still, i'm so upset and also angry about this.
I think that it would be a good idea to just..go to an Adoration chapel and spend time with Jesus there.. there's soo much disrespect for the Eucharist in the world. Most don't believe in it.. and some, like this man, are trying to destroy it. It's like..Jesus is freely offering them Himself..as a gift.. and they don't even care. And how often do I too, not care as much as I should. And there is so much hatred for Him in the world, even though He has loved us more than His life. How can this be?? And how much pain this must cause Him! I think that's why we have devotions like Adoration.. so that we can console His Sacred Heart for what He goes through, daily.
Act of Reparation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
O Jesus, Divine Saviour, deign to cast a look of mercy upon Your children, who assemble in the same spirit of faith, reparation, and love, and come to deplore their own infidelities, and those of all poor sinners, their brethren.
May we touch Your Divine Heart by the unanimous and solemn promises we are about to make and obtain mercy for ourselves, for the world, and for all who are so unhappy as not to love You. We all promise that for the future:
For the forgetfulness and ingratitude of men, we will console You, O Lord.
For the way You are deserted in Your holy tabernacle, we will console You, O Lord.
For the crimes of sinners, we will console You, O Lord.
For the hatred of the impious, we will console You, O Lord.
For the blasphemies uttered against You, we will console You, O Lord.
For the sacrileges that profane Your Sacrament of Love, we will console You, O Lord.
For the outrages against Your divinity, we will console You, O Lord.
For the injuries of which You are the adorable Victim, we will console You, O Lord.
For the coldness of the greater part of your children, we will console You, O Lord.
For the contempt of your loving invitation, we will console You, O Lord.
For the infidelity of those who called themselves Your friends, we will console You, O Lord.
For the abuse of Your grace, we will console You, O Lord.
For our own unfaithfulness, we will console You, O Lord.
For the incomprehensible hardness of our hearts, we will console You, O Lord.
For our long delay in loving You, we will console You, O Lord.
For our tepidity in Your holy service, we will console You, O Lord.
For Your bitter sadness at the loss of souls, we will console You, O Lord.
For Your long waiting at the door of our hearts, we will console You, O Lord.
For the heartless scorn that grieves You, we will console You, O Lord.
For Your loving sighs, we will console You, O Lord.
For Your loving tears, we will console You, O Lord.
For Your loving imprisonment, we will console You, O Lord.
For Your loving death, we will console You, O Lord.
Let us pray: O Jesus! Divine Saviour, from whose Heart comes forth this bitter complaint, "I looked for one that would comfort me, and I found none," graciously accept the feeble consolation we offer You, and aid us so powerfully by your grace, that we may, for the time to come, shun more and more all that can displease You, and prove ourselves in everything, and everywhere, and forever Your most faithful and devoted servants. We ask it through Your Sacred Heart, O Lord, who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit one God, world without end.
Amen.
2008/07/11
2008/07/08
my little miracle :)
wow..something cool happened today.. to start the story, i went to the dentist for a checkup. lol that's not the cool part, i don't think anyone enjoys going to the dentist and having someone look at their teeth from all angles with all sorts of metal instruments ;) but... recently, i've been reading the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux, called "Story of a Soul". i also saw a movie about her life..called "Therese"...i liked the movie :)
ever since i started reading the book, i really liked St. Therese right from the beginning. i love her "way of spiritual childhood", and her humility and love for Jesus...she's a great example of a Christian who really tried to serve the Lord in all she did, and a great example for us.
i was researching online and came across a novena to St. Therese. to be honest all this stuff is REALLY new to me. asking the Saints and Mary for prayer...i just never did any of these things before!! lol i remember the first time i said the Rosary, - i went and bought a rosary at "the Bible society", to use for the divine mercy chaplet - this was in the winter - i was soo nervous... i was worried that i am offending God by talking to Mary and wondered if she could even hear me. i mean i read tons of apologetics on the communion of saints and how people in heaven aren't dead, but alive, and we're all one in Christ..but i was still soo unsure. but when i said the prayer, i felt that both Jesus and Mary were listening to me together, and i felt such a profound sense of peace. complete utter peace. and ever since then, i've loved Mary and i consider her my Mother in heaven. i know now that when we honour her, we are honouring Her Son, and not worshipping her.
anyway.. but although i'm fine with Mary now, i still had my doubts about the Saints. saying a novena to St. Therese...was just TOO NEW... but for some reason, i wrote it down in my journal, thinking that maybe if i'm ever brave i'll ask for her intercession, regarding something i really need help on. i mean..."the prayer of a righteous man avails much" ;) and she's united with God, totally free from sin!! :) i ask my Christian friends for prayer, why not my brothers and sisters in heaven? the Holy Spirit unites us all together, and it's by the Spirit that they can hear us.. and they WANT to pray for us, because they see in how much darkness we're living in, and they want us to persevere and get to heaven too! they know what it's like! they're filled with God's love and demonstrate this love by helping us, and in this way, glorify God. lol well that's the explanation for all this...
on the website, people could leave replies and testimonies about St. Therese. many, many of them said that after they said the novena, they saw a rose, or in some cases, many roses. Some people smelled roses - even when none were around. In fact these sorts of experiences is what contributed to her canonization. before she died, she said that she'll spend her heaven doing good on earth, and that after her death she'll send out a "shower of roses" because of her intercession. (this is symbolic for graces) oki to be honest i was REALLY unsure about this. i thought..maybe it's just coincidence...no doubt if we looked for roses we'd see them all around!! but i was interested...
so..one morning..i got up, checked the time on my cell phone, which was on this little table where I keep my rosary, Bible, and the Sacred Heart picture i got at a catholic bookstore.. (i call it my "prayer corner")...brushed my hair, came back to my room, and kneeling beside my "prayer corner", said 5 Our Fathers, 5 Hail Marys, 5 Glory Be's, and this:
"st Therese, the little flower, pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love. ask God to grant the favor i implore and tell Him i will love Him each day more and more Amen"
lol :)
i waited..nothing happened.. thought, oki, well i really hope she prays for me cause i need prayer so badly!! and then..i looked up at my prayer corner and saw a vase full of ROSES!!!
i can't explain how surprised i was. i was like..THANK YOU st therese...cause i knew she heard, and is praying for me. the cool part...i didn't see these flowers on my table the other 4 times i looked right at it!!! WHY? i dunno... i guess God prevented me from seeing them, lol... but i know they were there the whole time, because my mom put the vase there that morning. (i obviously didn't know). the roses came from our backyard. she doesn't normally do this, and when i asked her, she said - she just felt like doing it for some reason, lol. :)
well, today i decided i'd continue the 5 day novena and i said it again, in the car, because i had no time to pray at home...had to get ready for the dentist. well..i finished it right when i walked in the door of the office, and when i sat down in one of the chairs, i looked at a little table and saw - this is hilarious - a kleenex box (LOLL) with a picture of roses..and on it, it said "la petite rose". haha. oki i don't know much french but i know what "petite" means. the little rose..little flower! St. Therese Little Flower :) and in french too LOL - she was French. i just started laughing.
thank you St. Therese for praying for me..
I hope God will answer both of our prayers. I really need His help on something.
update:
St Therese sent me flowers several more times when i asked her for prayer :) other times, i guess God wanted me to rely on faith.
one day i was praying before Mass and said the novena again.. and then, right when i finished!! i saw a little girl enter the pew in front of me, wearing a long dress on which were drawn..lots of big red roses! :)
another time, at Notre Dame.. when i saw her statue with the flowers..
and the last time was only several days ago.. i came in for my appointment with the priest, and decided to pray a bit beforehand.. so i went into the church, knelt before the Eucharist and started praying. i asked St Therese to pray for me.. but i didn't expect any sign, and i felt fairly sure there weren't any roses in the church cause the altar was decorated with these other red flowers all summer.. but then i looked up, and saw pink roses :) or at least flowers that look A LOT like roses.
i know she is praying for me and i'm so thankful..
ever since i started reading the book, i really liked St. Therese right from the beginning. i love her "way of spiritual childhood", and her humility and love for Jesus...she's a great example of a Christian who really tried to serve the Lord in all she did, and a great example for us.
i was researching online and came across a novena to St. Therese. to be honest all this stuff is REALLY new to me. asking the Saints and Mary for prayer...i just never did any of these things before!! lol i remember the first time i said the Rosary, - i went and bought a rosary at "the Bible society", to use for the divine mercy chaplet - this was in the winter - i was soo nervous... i was worried that i am offending God by talking to Mary and wondered if she could even hear me. i mean i read tons of apologetics on the communion of saints and how people in heaven aren't dead, but alive, and we're all one in Christ..but i was still soo unsure. but when i said the prayer, i felt that both Jesus and Mary were listening to me together, and i felt such a profound sense of peace. complete utter peace. and ever since then, i've loved Mary and i consider her my Mother in heaven. i know now that when we honour her, we are honouring Her Son, and not worshipping her.
anyway.. but although i'm fine with Mary now, i still had my doubts about the Saints. saying a novena to St. Therese...was just TOO NEW... but for some reason, i wrote it down in my journal, thinking that maybe if i'm ever brave i'll ask for her intercession, regarding something i really need help on. i mean..."the prayer of a righteous man avails much" ;) and she's united with God, totally free from sin!! :) i ask my Christian friends for prayer, why not my brothers and sisters in heaven? the Holy Spirit unites us all together, and it's by the Spirit that they can hear us.. and they WANT to pray for us, because they see in how much darkness we're living in, and they want us to persevere and get to heaven too! they know what it's like! they're filled with God's love and demonstrate this love by helping us, and in this way, glorify God. lol well that's the explanation for all this...
on the website, people could leave replies and testimonies about St. Therese. many, many of them said that after they said the novena, they saw a rose, or in some cases, many roses. Some people smelled roses - even when none were around. In fact these sorts of experiences is what contributed to her canonization. before she died, she said that she'll spend her heaven doing good on earth, and that after her death she'll send out a "shower of roses" because of her intercession. (this is symbolic for graces) oki to be honest i was REALLY unsure about this. i thought..maybe it's just coincidence...no doubt if we looked for roses we'd see them all around!! but i was interested...
so..one morning..i got up, checked the time on my cell phone, which was on this little table where I keep my rosary, Bible, and the Sacred Heart picture i got at a catholic bookstore.. (i call it my "prayer corner")...brushed my hair, came back to my room, and kneeling beside my "prayer corner", said 5 Our Fathers, 5 Hail Marys, 5 Glory Be's, and this:
"st Therese, the little flower, pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love. ask God to grant the favor i implore and tell Him i will love Him each day more and more Amen"
lol :)
i waited..nothing happened.. thought, oki, well i really hope she prays for me cause i need prayer so badly!! and then..i looked up at my prayer corner and saw a vase full of ROSES!!!
i can't explain how surprised i was. i was like..THANK YOU st therese...cause i knew she heard, and is praying for me. the cool part...i didn't see these flowers on my table the other 4 times i looked right at it!!! WHY? i dunno... i guess God prevented me from seeing them, lol... but i know they were there the whole time, because my mom put the vase there that morning. (i obviously didn't know). the roses came from our backyard. she doesn't normally do this, and when i asked her, she said - she just felt like doing it for some reason, lol. :)
well, today i decided i'd continue the 5 day novena and i said it again, in the car, because i had no time to pray at home...had to get ready for the dentist. well..i finished it right when i walked in the door of the office, and when i sat down in one of the chairs, i looked at a little table and saw - this is hilarious - a kleenex box (LOLL) with a picture of roses..and on it, it said "la petite rose". haha. oki i don't know much french but i know what "petite" means. the little rose..little flower! St. Therese Little Flower :) and in french too LOL - she was French. i just started laughing.
thank you St. Therese for praying for me..
I hope God will answer both of our prayers. I really need His help on something.
update:
St Therese sent me flowers several more times when i asked her for prayer :) other times, i guess God wanted me to rely on faith.
one day i was praying before Mass and said the novena again.. and then, right when i finished!! i saw a little girl enter the pew in front of me, wearing a long dress on which were drawn..lots of big red roses! :)
another time, at Notre Dame.. when i saw her statue with the flowers..
and the last time was only several days ago.. i came in for my appointment with the priest, and decided to pray a bit beforehand.. so i went into the church, knelt before the Eucharist and started praying. i asked St Therese to pray for me.. but i didn't expect any sign, and i felt fairly sure there weren't any roses in the church cause the altar was decorated with these other red flowers all summer.. but then i looked up, and saw pink roses :) or at least flowers that look A LOT like roses.
i know she is praying for me and i'm so thankful..
2008/07/06
and..this morning
:) update from "last night". wow i guess God really heard my prayers!!
this morning..i had to wake up real early for Mass. i sure didn't want to !! i was soo sleepy. somehow i got up anyway. went to Mass... and..SO glad i did!
i went to st paul's..again. came in, got on my kneeler..started praying before the service. i didn't even know what to say! just kept on repeating the same sort of thing, over and over.
then i opened the Missal, found "June 6th", and read today's Gospel reading:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
i took that as a sign! cause..that's EXACTLY what i needed to hear. COME TO ME.. i looked at the Tabernacle, - oki Jesus i want to come to You but i'll need some help! i felt so tired spiritually. but when we got to the second Scripture reading, i felt soo much better. when Matt. 11:28-30 was read out loud, i felt like Jesus was saying the words to me. one of the psalms we sang..i can't remember the words now.. it was so beautiful. i had tears in my eyes the whole time. the homily was about this too...about finding real peace in God..
then...the Liturgy of the Eucharist!! my favourite moment of Mass :) when we sang..
Holy holy holy Lord
God of power and might
Heaven and Earth are full of your glory
Hosanna in the highest
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord
Hosanna in the highest
Hosanna in the highest
i thought..we're participating in HEAVENLY worship!! we're praising God together with all the angels and saints of heaven...the Eucharist makes us all ONE in Christ..we're all kneeling together, before "the Lamb who was slain".. this is TIMELESS. wow. during the consecration..we are at Calvary..before the one and eternal sacrifice, made present before us...
and then the priest lifted the Host and the Cup ..and the Holy Spirit transformed the bread and wine into the risen, life giving Flesh and Blood of our Savior. "happy are those called to the Lamb's supper".
i couldn't receive, of course.. :( not yet.. but when the priest blessed me, i once more felt grace enter my soul. as if i HAVE received Christ, spiritually. even though i completely forgot to say the Spiritul Communion prayer today. i wonder if priests realize this..what their blessings can do.
and after Mass, i felt so much PEACE. finally!!
but the story doesn't stop here.. at church, i got the "Catholic Register" newspaper.. as i usually do. and on one of the pages, there was a quote by St. Therese of Lisieux (one of my favourite Saints..ever..)
"my strength lies in prayer and sacrifice; they are invincible weapons, and touch hearts more surely than words can do, as I have learned by experience" (St. Therese)
AMEN.. at that moment, when i read that, i realized something. all last night i was worrying about my words. that when i share my faith, it only annoys people. and this morning, i realized..that it's soo important to pray for the people i'm sharing with, and to truly love them, to forgive them.. and the value of sacrifice.. and God takes all this and uses it.
Another thing i realized is:
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"
1 Peter 3:15
how gentle have i been, really, when questioned about my faith? when people criticized what i said, did i show that i was annoyed, or did i respond with kindness and patience?? it's easy to look at the flaws of others, especially when they said or did something that hurt you, but it's hard to then look at oneself and say...maybe i provoked their words.. maybe i should have spoken differently myself.
i hope i remember..
this morning..i had to wake up real early for Mass. i sure didn't want to !! i was soo sleepy. somehow i got up anyway. went to Mass... and..SO glad i did!
i went to st paul's..again. came in, got on my kneeler..started praying before the service. i didn't even know what to say! just kept on repeating the same sort of thing, over and over.
then i opened the Missal, found "June 6th", and read today's Gospel reading:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
i took that as a sign! cause..that's EXACTLY what i needed to hear. COME TO ME.. i looked at the Tabernacle, - oki Jesus i want to come to You but i'll need some help! i felt so tired spiritually. but when we got to the second Scripture reading, i felt soo much better. when Matt. 11:28-30 was read out loud, i felt like Jesus was saying the words to me. one of the psalms we sang..i can't remember the words now.. it was so beautiful. i had tears in my eyes the whole time. the homily was about this too...about finding real peace in God..
then...the Liturgy of the Eucharist!! my favourite moment of Mass :) when we sang..
Holy holy holy Lord
God of power and might
Heaven and Earth are full of your glory
Hosanna in the highest
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord
Hosanna in the highest
Hosanna in the highest
i thought..we're participating in HEAVENLY worship!! we're praising God together with all the angels and saints of heaven...the Eucharist makes us all ONE in Christ..we're all kneeling together, before "the Lamb who was slain".. this is TIMELESS. wow. during the consecration..we are at Calvary..before the one and eternal sacrifice, made present before us...
and then the priest lifted the Host and the Cup ..and the Holy Spirit transformed the bread and wine into the risen, life giving Flesh and Blood of our Savior. "happy are those called to the Lamb's supper".
i couldn't receive, of course.. :( not yet.. but when the priest blessed me, i once more felt grace enter my soul. as if i HAVE received Christ, spiritually. even though i completely forgot to say the Spiritul Communion prayer today. i wonder if priests realize this..what their blessings can do.
and after Mass, i felt so much PEACE. finally!!
but the story doesn't stop here.. at church, i got the "Catholic Register" newspaper.. as i usually do. and on one of the pages, there was a quote by St. Therese of Lisieux (one of my favourite Saints..ever..)
"my strength lies in prayer and sacrifice; they are invincible weapons, and touch hearts more surely than words can do, as I have learned by experience" (St. Therese)
AMEN.. at that moment, when i read that, i realized something. all last night i was worrying about my words. that when i share my faith, it only annoys people. and this morning, i realized..that it's soo important to pray for the people i'm sharing with, and to truly love them, to forgive them.. and the value of sacrifice.. and God takes all this and uses it.
Another thing i realized is:
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"
1 Peter 3:15
how gentle have i been, really, when questioned about my faith? when people criticized what i said, did i show that i was annoyed, or did i respond with kindness and patience?? it's easy to look at the flaws of others, especially when they said or did something that hurt you, but it's hard to then look at oneself and say...maybe i provoked their words.. maybe i should have spoken differently myself.
i hope i remember..
last night.
this is something i scribbled on a piece of paper, last night at 1 am, while eating chocolate chip cookies. :s lol
"what do you do when the one thing in the whole world you love the most, makes you crazy in the eyes of others.
when people really close to you feel disappointed in you, because of how you feel about God..
when they feel genuinely concerned for your well being when you talk about Him, because they think your approach to faith is unhealthy and unnatural, though you know it is not...and the only reason you talked to them about this at all, is to encourage them, but in the end failed terribly.
what do you do when you trusted someone and showed them your heart, made yourself vulnerable for their sake, only to be hurt in the end..
when you feel so misunderstood, and can't possibly answer all the accusations against you.
well i guess all you can do is forgive, and hope against hope in God, that He would somehow use even this...that He would use the words you have said, even though they caused more harm than good, despite your intentions.
Lord i still trust in You...regardless..
"O my Jesus, because of my trust in You, i weave thousands of garlands, and i know that they will all blossom. and i know that they will all blossom when God's sun will shine on them" (St. Faustina)
and even though from now on i must stay silent, i will not stop praying. it is all in Your hands now.
i have failed so miserably. well at least God can use this failure to humble me; i hope He does. sometimes...i wish that i didn't care so much..but.. we must always forgive and love, even if this hurts us, because this is how God has loved us.
still, at this moment, i'm in a lot of pain. i wish i was stronger, i wish i was more able to look beyond myself, that i could feel others' pain more deeply than my own. i guess the words just cut too deep.
whenever people criticize and mock how i feel about God, it really hurts me. i'd rather they criticized something else about me. i don't think they realize what their words do, and i don't want to just blame them, cause i'm not perfect myself.. (oki i'm a huge sinner)
i hope that God heals me of this. but i've heard so much over the years from various people. it's tough when it's from your family and friends, people you trusted to understand you, people who you believe love you.. maybe i'm just too sensitive!!
my only consolation is that Jesus accepts and understands my faith. maybe He's the only one who does. i know that He understands everything about me. who else can know a soul so perfectly, except the one who made it.
Lord if i could see You now...i'd tell you that You are my everything. i'd say.. Jesus, i am so small and unworthy, i am a sinner and i'm so broken and messed up inside.. i don't live out my faith as i should, i don't love You as You deserve, and today i've failed You yet again. please, please forgive me..
but even with all this, i still trust in Your mercy..
You see, i don't have anything much to offer You, except myself.. my heart beats only for You so i want You to have it. please help me love You above all things.. to count the world as loss when compared to You.. i repeat the prayer from "the imitation": 'O Jesus, unspeakable sweetness, turn earthly consolations into bitterness for me'. help me no longer care about my own will. i only want to love You, each day more and more. i am empty handed but do not turn me away, i need You so much. i don't want anything else, i only want to be with You, and i'd take the lowest place in heaven to all the riches of this earth, as long as i can see You from there. and yet even as i say this, i know how weak i am and how attached i am to the things of this world.. have mercy on me..'
but Jesus what would Your words be to me??
would you say what people say..that i'm a "fanatic", that my approach is all wrong, that i have some sort of "religious addiction"? would You tell me that You'd rather see me enjoy this world more and spend less time thinking of heaven.. but Lord YOU are my heaven, and i would always long for You. would You say that i shouldn't speak like this, because my faith isn't real, but just a "drug".. this is what people have told me. would You turn me away? but Lord You didn't turn away that woman..who came to pour her expensive perfume on Your feet..she was crying, and she wiped your feet with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. and others criticized her, because she was a sinner, and because the perfume could have been used to help the poor.. but Jesus You accepted her, and her worship, and forgave her all the sins.. and You said, she loves much because she was forgiven of much.
sometimes i feel like this woman.. especially how she was critized for her worship. like i was today. but Lord You know how much You have forgiven me.. SOO much. thank You!!! so even though i'm sinful.. with trust i approach Your throne..
because i know that You will understand my words and my heart, and despite my numerous sins, You will look at me with so much love. i know that Your mercy is endless. i hope that You will then take me in Your arms and never let go. maybe i am hoping for too much.. but i can not help it. You have loved me first, my only response is to love You back."
"what do you do when the one thing in the whole world you love the most, makes you crazy in the eyes of others.
when people really close to you feel disappointed in you, because of how you feel about God..
when they feel genuinely concerned for your well being when you talk about Him, because they think your approach to faith is unhealthy and unnatural, though you know it is not...and the only reason you talked to them about this at all, is to encourage them, but in the end failed terribly.
what do you do when you trusted someone and showed them your heart, made yourself vulnerable for their sake, only to be hurt in the end..
when you feel so misunderstood, and can't possibly answer all the accusations against you.
well i guess all you can do is forgive, and hope against hope in God, that He would somehow use even this...that He would use the words you have said, even though they caused more harm than good, despite your intentions.
Lord i still trust in You...regardless..
"O my Jesus, because of my trust in You, i weave thousands of garlands, and i know that they will all blossom. and i know that they will all blossom when God's sun will shine on them" (St. Faustina)
and even though from now on i must stay silent, i will not stop praying. it is all in Your hands now.
i have failed so miserably. well at least God can use this failure to humble me; i hope He does. sometimes...i wish that i didn't care so much..but.. we must always forgive and love, even if this hurts us, because this is how God has loved us.
still, at this moment, i'm in a lot of pain. i wish i was stronger, i wish i was more able to look beyond myself, that i could feel others' pain more deeply than my own. i guess the words just cut too deep.
whenever people criticize and mock how i feel about God, it really hurts me. i'd rather they criticized something else about me. i don't think they realize what their words do, and i don't want to just blame them, cause i'm not perfect myself.. (oki i'm a huge sinner)
i hope that God heals me of this. but i've heard so much over the years from various people. it's tough when it's from your family and friends, people you trusted to understand you, people who you believe love you.. maybe i'm just too sensitive!!
my only consolation is that Jesus accepts and understands my faith. maybe He's the only one who does. i know that He understands everything about me. who else can know a soul so perfectly, except the one who made it.
Lord if i could see You now...i'd tell you that You are my everything. i'd say.. Jesus, i am so small and unworthy, i am a sinner and i'm so broken and messed up inside.. i don't live out my faith as i should, i don't love You as You deserve, and today i've failed You yet again. please, please forgive me..
but even with all this, i still trust in Your mercy..
You see, i don't have anything much to offer You, except myself.. my heart beats only for You so i want You to have it. please help me love You above all things.. to count the world as loss when compared to You.. i repeat the prayer from "the imitation": 'O Jesus, unspeakable sweetness, turn earthly consolations into bitterness for me'. help me no longer care about my own will. i only want to love You, each day more and more. i am empty handed but do not turn me away, i need You so much. i don't want anything else, i only want to be with You, and i'd take the lowest place in heaven to all the riches of this earth, as long as i can see You from there. and yet even as i say this, i know how weak i am and how attached i am to the things of this world.. have mercy on me..'
but Jesus what would Your words be to me??
would you say what people say..that i'm a "fanatic", that my approach is all wrong, that i have some sort of "religious addiction"? would You tell me that You'd rather see me enjoy this world more and spend less time thinking of heaven.. but Lord YOU are my heaven, and i would always long for You. would You say that i shouldn't speak like this, because my faith isn't real, but just a "drug".. this is what people have told me. would You turn me away? but Lord You didn't turn away that woman..who came to pour her expensive perfume on Your feet..she was crying, and she wiped your feet with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. and others criticized her, because she was a sinner, and because the perfume could have been used to help the poor.. but Jesus You accepted her, and her worship, and forgave her all the sins.. and You said, she loves much because she was forgiven of much.
sometimes i feel like this woman.. especially how she was critized for her worship. like i was today. but Lord You know how much You have forgiven me.. SOO much. thank You!!! so even though i'm sinful.. with trust i approach Your throne..
because i know that You will understand my words and my heart, and despite my numerous sins, You will look at me with so much love. i know that Your mercy is endless. i hope that You will then take me in Your arms and never let go. maybe i am hoping for too much.. but i can not help it. You have loved me first, my only response is to love You back."
one more reason why I love Mass!
i noticed something pretty cool lately...that the Scripture readings during Mass often fit exactly what I'm dealing with. i think this is something that God has been showing me lately. it's really interesting, because - the readings are pre-planned...they're according to the liturgical year, in the missal.
last night...I felt I had wayyy too many worries and burdens. Today during Mass, the Gospel reading was:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
the day I was doubting my conversion to the Catholic church...the Scripture was about Peter and the 'keys'. (so perfect!)
the day our car hit a little bird and it fell to the ground :( (I felt pretty sad about that) AND the morning I felt like I was totally abandoned by God:
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. "
:) praise God! i could barely wake up this morning, but now i'm soo glad i went to Mass.
last night...I felt I had wayyy too many worries and burdens. Today during Mass, the Gospel reading was:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
the day I was doubting my conversion to the Catholic church...the Scripture was about Peter and the 'keys'. (so perfect!)
the day our car hit a little bird and it fell to the ground :( (I felt pretty sad about that) AND the morning I felt like I was totally abandoned by God:
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. "
:) praise God! i could barely wake up this morning, but now i'm soo glad i went to Mass.
2008/06/28
Saint Philomena
I was doing some research and just came across this Saint.. St. Philomena was a martyr. she must have had incredible courage, especially at such a young age.. wow. and there are many miracles associated with her.
http://www.philomena.us/
St. Philomena pray for us..
http://www.philomena.us/
St. Philomena pray for us..
2008/06/11
my new blog..
i've decided to start a new blog... i don't think my old one really reflects me anymore ;) there's a lot that changed in my life lately.. which i will be writing about.. anyway, i'm looking forward to this blog. :)
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