today is a horrible day
i don't even know what happened...
this weekend is Thanksgiving
and i was really looking forward to spending time with my family
yesterday i was talking to my mom over the phone and we were planning the dinner, and we were both so excited about it
and now there's not going to be anything,
there's just too much stuff going on at home..
i don't have the strength to write about it
i honestly feel like the devil is trying to destroy my family
i want to pray ..for my family, for us all to turn to the Lord..
i wish i could go to Mass today, but the church is too far away..i don't know if there's a bus that goes there; i even considered walking - that's how desperately i want to just go and pray before the Blessed Sacrament.. and i looked up the map for St Pauls but couldn't figure it out :(
so i'm just sitting here at my computer and crying because i don't know what else to do
i have soo much homework to do as well but i'm not going to do it..not today
Lord give me strength
take away all this darkness..
Lord have mercy
Jesus thank You that You never abandon us.. i will still praise You through this storm
"O Divine Eternal Father, in union with your Divine Son and the Holy Spirit, And through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I beg You to destroy the power of your greatest enemy— the evil spirits. Cast them into the deepest recesses of hell And chain them there forever! Take possession of your Kingdom Which you have created And which is rightfully yours. Heavenly Father, Give us the reign Of the Sacred Heart of Jesus And the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I repeat this prayer Out of pure love for You With every beat of my heart And with every breath I take. Amen"
edit:
something so wonderful happened the next day!! praise God! thank You Lord for answering my prayers!! thank You Mary for your intercession! the day after i wrote this, we all went to church as a family for the first time in months. i know this was a miracle, there is no other way this could have happened. we almost never go to church together. and that day was the LEAST LIKELY day for this to happen. :)
2008/10/11
the person i want to be
i wrote this several days ago in my journal..
to love God with all my heart, mind, and soul
to love neighbour as myself
to care more about how God feels than how i feel
to care more about others' suffering than my own
to rejoice with those who rejoice
to weep with those who weep
to never be jealous of anybody
to be ready to go through any suffering for God
to not be afraid of the future, but commit it to Him
to choose to do God's will no matter how difficult or scary it is
to die to self
to die to the world
to be a prayer warrior, not ever being lazy to pray and intercede for others
to be humble
to hate my sins but trust always in God's mercy
to never lose trust in Jesus, regardless of how i feel
to not rely on my feelings
to see Christ in the poor, the lonely, the sick, the helpless
to have simple childlike faith and not take pride in anything i understand
to pray for the world and for unity in the Church
to love God more than His gifts
to bear wrongs patiently
to not be judgemental towards others
to keep my eyes on Christ and what is eternal, not on what is temporary
to give myself entirely to God
to always love Jesus in the Eucharist
to share my faith more
to show God's love and mercy to others through actions, words, and prayers
to rely on God's grace not on my self for all this
to love God with all my heart, mind, and soul
to love neighbour as myself
to care more about how God feels than how i feel
to care more about others' suffering than my own
to rejoice with those who rejoice
to weep with those who weep
to never be jealous of anybody
to be ready to go through any suffering for God
to not be afraid of the future, but commit it to Him
to choose to do God's will no matter how difficult or scary it is
to die to self
to die to the world
to be a prayer warrior, not ever being lazy to pray and intercede for others
to be humble
to hate my sins but trust always in God's mercy
to never lose trust in Jesus, regardless of how i feel
to not rely on my feelings
to see Christ in the poor, the lonely, the sick, the helpless
to have simple childlike faith and not take pride in anything i understand
to pray for the world and for unity in the Church
to love God more than His gifts
to bear wrongs patiently
to not be judgemental towards others
to keep my eyes on Christ and what is eternal, not on what is temporary
to give myself entirely to God
to always love Jesus in the Eucharist
to share my faith more
to show God's love and mercy to others through actions, words, and prayers
to rely on God's grace not on my self for all this
2008/09/29
what Adoration really is
to adore: "To love with one's entire heart and soul; regard with deep respect and affection"
I had this realization yesterday...when we go to Eucharistic Adoration.. this is the God we are worshipping:
Revelation 5
Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals." Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth." Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!" Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!" The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.
Jesus is love.. He's the source of...all wisdom, all power, all glory.. He owns everything! ALL authority has been given to Him. He can create another world right now or destroy this one, He can do anything! ALL CREATION shouts His praise. All the earth! and the heavens! and one day, everyone - every single person who ever lived - will fall down before Him...every knee shall bow.. and He's the only one worthy of our worship! He deserves to be lived for, died for, He deserves all the love we have in our hearts..and more..
and..He's RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!! His glory is hidden.. but He is there...
it's almost unbelievable!
He has so much humility..to not only become a human being and die for us, but to then become the Eucharist, and nourish us with His very Body and Blood. wow!! this is the great secret...that the God of the universe loves us more than even His own glory...that He would hide His majesty so that we can approach Him..and remain hidden in bread and wine for love of us.. even though WE have hurt Him with our sins. how can we deserve something like this?? it's impossible to deserve! this is how great His mercy is!
Mercy is His greatest attribute and glorifies Him more than anything else (St Faustina)
it is only His love that makes this bearable for Him, because I can't imagine how our Lord could possibly become ..something so small..and stay alone in the Tabernacle day and night for our sake
that is how much He loves each of us! And all that He wants is for us to love Him in return with all our hearts, to give ourselves to Him as He gives Himself to us. :) this is what we were created for
I had this realization yesterday...when we go to Eucharistic Adoration.. this is the God we are worshipping:
Revelation 5
Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals." Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth." Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!" Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!" The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.
Jesus is love.. He's the source of...all wisdom, all power, all glory.. He owns everything! ALL authority has been given to Him. He can create another world right now or destroy this one, He can do anything! ALL CREATION shouts His praise. All the earth! and the heavens! and one day, everyone - every single person who ever lived - will fall down before Him...every knee shall bow.. and He's the only one worthy of our worship! He deserves to be lived for, died for, He deserves all the love we have in our hearts..and more..
and..He's RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!! His glory is hidden.. but He is there...
it's almost unbelievable!
He has so much humility..to not only become a human being and die for us, but to then become the Eucharist, and nourish us with His very Body and Blood. wow!! this is the great secret...that the God of the universe loves us more than even His own glory...that He would hide His majesty so that we can approach Him..and remain hidden in bread and wine for love of us.. even though WE have hurt Him with our sins. how can we deserve something like this?? it's impossible to deserve! this is how great His mercy is!
Mercy is His greatest attribute and glorifies Him more than anything else (St Faustina)
it is only His love that makes this bearable for Him, because I can't imagine how our Lord could possibly become ..something so small..and stay alone in the Tabernacle day and night for our sake
that is how much He loves each of us! And all that He wants is for us to love Him in return with all our hearts, to give ourselves to Him as He gives Himself to us. :) this is what we were created for
2008/09/20
sin
someone shared this with me.. and it really made me think
"What would you do if Jesus walked in and caught you in the act? Imagine His face full of tears, watching you destroy yourself in whatever way it is you destroy yourself. Imagine Him asking you "why are you doing this?" Imagine yourself trying to come up with some excuse to explain this behaviour that will sound adequate, and coming up blank. And when He reaches out to you to take away your pain, imagine yourself slapping His hand away because you don't want to stop. "Not yet. Just a little longer. I still need it. I can't let it go." So He sits down on your floor and tells you that He isn't going to leave you; He just sits there and watches you. And you, needing so badly to keep destroying yourself, continue with the behaviours. He just sits and watches you, crying for you, silently inviting you come crawl up in His lap and find peace from your pain. But you don't, because you think you need to keep going with what you were doing. Because you want to keep going. "I'll be there soon, Jesus. Just let me finish first." So you keep bingeing, or purging, or chewing and spitting, or starving, or cutting yourself, or doing drugs, or having sex, or hurting someone, or allowing someone else to hurt you. While He watches.
How am I going to justify this? When really, in light of eternity, there is no excuse that comes close to being good enough..
I am breaking God's heart."
"What would you do if Jesus walked in and caught you in the act? Imagine His face full of tears, watching you destroy yourself in whatever way it is you destroy yourself. Imagine Him asking you "why are you doing this?" Imagine yourself trying to come up with some excuse to explain this behaviour that will sound adequate, and coming up blank. And when He reaches out to you to take away your pain, imagine yourself slapping His hand away because you don't want to stop. "Not yet. Just a little longer. I still need it. I can't let it go." So He sits down on your floor and tells you that He isn't going to leave you; He just sits there and watches you. And you, needing so badly to keep destroying yourself, continue with the behaviours. He just sits and watches you, crying for you, silently inviting you come crawl up in His lap and find peace from your pain. But you don't, because you think you need to keep going with what you were doing. Because you want to keep going. "I'll be there soon, Jesus. Just let me finish first." So you keep bingeing, or purging, or chewing and spitting, or starving, or cutting yourself, or doing drugs, or having sex, or hurting someone, or allowing someone else to hurt you. While He watches.
How am I going to justify this? When really, in light of eternity, there is no excuse that comes close to being good enough..
I am breaking God's heart."
2008/09/17
the parable of the lost son
this is one of my favourite passages from the Bible..
11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. 13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]' 22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate. 25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' 28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "
11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. 13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]' 22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate. 25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' 28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "
Pope Benedict's quote about suffering
when i read this i thought ..this is very true.. i never saw it this way.
i think God had a choice regarding all the suffering in the world..to either take it all away in a moment..
or, to share in our suffering out of love for us and then take it away.
“In order to heal us, He does not remain outside the suffering that is experienced, He eases it by coming to dwell with the one stricken by illness, to bear it and to live with him. Christ’s presence comes to break the isolation which pain induces. Man no longer bears his burden alone. As a suffering member of Christ, he is conformed to Christ in his self-offering to the father.”
Pope Benedict
i think God had a choice regarding all the suffering in the world..to either take it all away in a moment..
or, to share in our suffering out of love for us and then take it away.
“In order to heal us, He does not remain outside the suffering that is experienced, He eases it by coming to dwell with the one stricken by illness, to bear it and to live with him. Christ’s presence comes to break the isolation which pain induces. Man no longer bears his burden alone. As a suffering member of Christ, he is conformed to Christ in his self-offering to the father.”
Pope Benedict
2008/09/11
Spiritual Adoption
i recently came across this site:
http://www.spiritualadoption.org/
then i started thinking about all those babies who are killed every day..and just how tragic that is and how much that grieves God... and on Sept. 10, 2008, i decided to 'spiritually adopt' a baby. i will pray for the unborn baby every day for 9 months (until June 10, 2009). I'll be saying the prayer from the website, and also a Hail Mary and i'll be asking our Lady to keep the baby in her care...so that the parents' minds are changed, and the mother decides not to abort, and that the baby would grow up to know the Lord.
http://www.spiritualadoption.org/
then i started thinking about all those babies who are killed every day..and just how tragic that is and how much that grieves God... and on Sept. 10, 2008, i decided to 'spiritually adopt' a baby. i will pray for the unborn baby every day for 9 months (until June 10, 2009). I'll be saying the prayer from the website, and also a Hail Mary and i'll be asking our Lady to keep the baby in her care...so that the parents' minds are changed, and the mother decides not to abort, and that the baby would grow up to know the Lord.
Shadowfeet
by Brooke Fraser
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
You make all things new
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
You make all things new
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
2008/09/10
St. John's sermon
"St. Jerome relates that when age and weakness grew upon him at Ephesus, so that he was no longer able to preach or make long discourses to the people, he used always to be carried to the assembly of the faithful by his disciples with great difficulty; and every time said to his flock only these words, "My dear children, love one another." When his auditors, wearied with hearing constantly the same thing, asked him why he always repeated the same words, he replied, "Because it is the precept of the Lord, and if you comply with it, you do enough ": an answer, says St. Jerome, worthy the great St. John, the favourite disciple of Christ, and which ought to be engraved in characters of gold, or rather to be written in the heart of every Christian."
http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/JOHNEVAN.HTM
i love this story.. maybe the people who came to listen to St. John expected a complex, sophisticated message, and were disappointed when the Apostle said something so simple and seemingly obvious.. but these are the words of Christ.. "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it" John, 'the beloved disciple', said to them the most important thing..and those who became like little children and opened their hearts to this message, received more truth than if they were taught by philosophers or theologians. "Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 Cor. 1:20
I'm also reminded of these words from the Imitation:
"What good does it do to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity? Indeed it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God. I would rather feel contrition than know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without grace and the love of God? Vanity of vanities and all is vanity, except to love God and serve Him alone."
"EVERY man naturally desires knowledge; but what good is knowledge without fear of God? Indeed a humble rustic who serves God is better than a proud intellectual who neglects his soul to study the course of the stars. He who knows himself well becomes mean in his own eyes and is not happy when praised by men. If I knew all things in the world and had not charity, what would it profit me before God Who will judge me by my deeds?
Shun too great a desire for knowledge, for in it there is much fretting and delusion. Intellectuals like to appear learned and to be called wise. Yet there are many things the knowledge of which does little or no good to the soul, and he who concerns himself about other things than those which lead to salvation is very unwise. Many words do not satisfy the soul; but a good life eases the mind and a clean conscience inspires great trust in God.
The more you know and the better you understand, the more severely will you be judged, unless your life is also the more holy. Do not be proud, therefore, because of your learning or skill. Rather, fear because of the talent given you. If you think you know many things and understand them well enough, realize at the same time that there is much you do not know. Hence, do not affect wisdom, but admit your ignorance. Why prefer yourself to anyone else when many are more learned, more cultured than you? If you wish to learn and appreciate something worth while, then love to be unknown and considered as nothing.
Truly to know and despise self is the best and most perfect counsel. To think of oneself as nothing, and always to think well and highly of others is the best and most perfect wisdom. Wherefore, if you see another sin openly or commit a serious crime, do not consider yourself better, for you do not know how long you can remain in good estate. All men are frail, but you must admit that none is more frail than yourself."
i think this is such a useful reminder.. it is so easy to get caught up in all the theology and studying and feeling proud of yourself for "understanding so much"..or in human philosophy.. i was there once.. when all along i missed the most important truth of all, and understood nothing.
"become like little children.."
Love is indeed the most important thing and the fulfilment of the law.. and not just loving our friends, but people we disagree with, people who are our enemies, and people who are really difficult to love.. for that is how Christ loved us.. that is such a challenge though, and requires so much humility. i pray that God would help me be more loving..that He would help me see the world with His eyes, show His mercy and kindness to others, and that He would change my heart to be more like His.. I think..if we love God and neighbour, that would help us obey the other commands as well.. and if we think we're obeying the law but we have no love, it all means nothing.
"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Col 3:14
http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/JOHNEVAN.HTM
i love this story.. maybe the people who came to listen to St. John expected a complex, sophisticated message, and were disappointed when the Apostle said something so simple and seemingly obvious.. but these are the words of Christ.. "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it" John, 'the beloved disciple', said to them the most important thing..and those who became like little children and opened their hearts to this message, received more truth than if they were taught by philosophers or theologians. "Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 Cor. 1:20
I'm also reminded of these words from the Imitation:
"What good does it do to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity? Indeed it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God. I would rather feel contrition than know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without grace and the love of God? Vanity of vanities and all is vanity, except to love God and serve Him alone."
"EVERY man naturally desires knowledge; but what good is knowledge without fear of God? Indeed a humble rustic who serves God is better than a proud intellectual who neglects his soul to study the course of the stars. He who knows himself well becomes mean in his own eyes and is not happy when praised by men. If I knew all things in the world and had not charity, what would it profit me before God Who will judge me by my deeds?
Shun too great a desire for knowledge, for in it there is much fretting and delusion. Intellectuals like to appear learned and to be called wise. Yet there are many things the knowledge of which does little or no good to the soul, and he who concerns himself about other things than those which lead to salvation is very unwise. Many words do not satisfy the soul; but a good life eases the mind and a clean conscience inspires great trust in God.
The more you know and the better you understand, the more severely will you be judged, unless your life is also the more holy. Do not be proud, therefore, because of your learning or skill. Rather, fear because of the talent given you. If you think you know many things and understand them well enough, realize at the same time that there is much you do not know. Hence, do not affect wisdom, but admit your ignorance. Why prefer yourself to anyone else when many are more learned, more cultured than you? If you wish to learn and appreciate something worth while, then love to be unknown and considered as nothing.
Truly to know and despise self is the best and most perfect counsel. To think of oneself as nothing, and always to think well and highly of others is the best and most perfect wisdom. Wherefore, if you see another sin openly or commit a serious crime, do not consider yourself better, for you do not know how long you can remain in good estate. All men are frail, but you must admit that none is more frail than yourself."
i think this is such a useful reminder.. it is so easy to get caught up in all the theology and studying and feeling proud of yourself for "understanding so much"..or in human philosophy.. i was there once.. when all along i missed the most important truth of all, and understood nothing.
"become like little children.."
Love is indeed the most important thing and the fulfilment of the law.. and not just loving our friends, but people we disagree with, people who are our enemies, and people who are really difficult to love.. for that is how Christ loved us.. that is such a challenge though, and requires so much humility. i pray that God would help me be more loving..that He would help me see the world with His eyes, show His mercy and kindness to others, and that He would change my heart to be more like His.. I think..if we love God and neighbour, that would help us obey the other commands as well.. and if we think we're obeying the law but we have no love, it all means nothing.
"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Col 3:14
prayer to St Faustina
today i was feeling so far from God.. due to homework and other duties i haven't been praying as much, and it was so difficult to resist sin. in fact i gave in many times.. i didn't know how to get back to Him..i didn't feel like God loves me and even doubted this, i felt like He was angry at me for failing so much.
and then someone on facebook sent me this prayer, and it just reminded me that God's mercy is stronger.. i was encouraged.. these are the exact things that i was struggling with: fear, doubt, and i forgot who i am and who God is..i felt like things were just getting worse and worse and i didn't know how to fix them. but this helped me remember that..i should rely on God, because "my life is in His hands". i believe that even if we fail a lot, if we sincerely try our best God will take our efforts and use them..and give us the grace to really improve.. as long as we're willing to cooperate with His grace, He will provide us with what we need. He knows there are so many distractions all around and so many things that cause us to stumble..so much evil out there.
"Dear St. Faustina, I have come to know you as a friend. I ask you to plead to the Lord for me the prayer I ask of you. In times of doubt, dear friend, implore the Lord's Mercy as you did so often here on earth, that I may remember who I am, and to what His mercy has called me.
In times of fear, implore His Mercy that I may ever remember to trust, and trust again, in joy, and in the knowledge that God is preparing me for a beautiful mission.
Please pray dear St. Faustina, that I may never forget that the abyss between my Lord and I has been bridged by His tender mercy. He will continue to be faithful and heal me of anything which stands in the way of His Will. My life is in His Hands.
Thank you dear friend. Pray with me the prayer Our Lord taught you to spread throughout the world; Jesus, I trust in You! Remind all pilgrims of life that if our trust is great, there is no limit to Jesus' generosity.
Amen."
and then someone on facebook sent me this prayer, and it just reminded me that God's mercy is stronger.. i was encouraged.. these are the exact things that i was struggling with: fear, doubt, and i forgot who i am and who God is..i felt like things were just getting worse and worse and i didn't know how to fix them. but this helped me remember that..i should rely on God, because "my life is in His hands". i believe that even if we fail a lot, if we sincerely try our best God will take our efforts and use them..and give us the grace to really improve.. as long as we're willing to cooperate with His grace, He will provide us with what we need. He knows there are so many distractions all around and so many things that cause us to stumble..so much evil out there.
"Dear St. Faustina, I have come to know you as a friend. I ask you to plead to the Lord for me the prayer I ask of you. In times of doubt, dear friend, implore the Lord's Mercy as you did so often here on earth, that I may remember who I am, and to what His mercy has called me.
In times of fear, implore His Mercy that I may ever remember to trust, and trust again, in joy, and in the knowledge that God is preparing me for a beautiful mission.
Please pray dear St. Faustina, that I may never forget that the abyss between my Lord and I has been bridged by His tender mercy. He will continue to be faithful and heal me of anything which stands in the way of His Will. My life is in His Hands.
Thank you dear friend. Pray with me the prayer Our Lord taught you to spread throughout the world; Jesus, I trust in You! Remind all pilgrims of life that if our trust is great, there is no limit to Jesus' generosity.
Amen."
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