Daily Rome Shot 1374
17 hours ago
2008/12/27
let me never forget You
"To encounter but once the Heart of the Lord Jesus is to never forget Him, and to be forevermore taken by love of this sweet Redeemer. Yet many will not allow their hearts to be conquered by the good Jesus because they fear the cost of being in love with Him; they fear the sacrifices that it would entail. For this reason it is necessary to have a pure heart...a heart detached from pride and from the world, so that nothing might keep one from surrendering to the love of Jesus. For it does hold one captive--this love--, yet whoever surrenders to it would never wish to be freed from its chains."~St. Faustina
2008/12/14
Maxims for the Direction of a Soul that Desires to Obtain Perfection in the Love of Jesus Christ
by Saint Alphonsus Liguori
1. To desire ardently to increase in the love of Jesus Christ.
2. Often to make acts of love towards Jesus Christ. Immediately on waking, and before going to sleep, to make an act of love, seeking always to unite your own will to the will of Jesus Christ.
3. Often to meditate on his Passion.
4. Always to ask Jesus Christ for his love.
5. To communicate often, and many times in the day to make spiritual Communions.
6. Often to visit the Most Holy Sacrament.
7. Every morning to receive from the hands of Jesus Christ himself your own cross.
8. To desire Paradise and death, in order to be able to love Jesus Christ perfectly and for all eternity.
9. Often to speak of the love of Jesus Christ.
10. To accept contradictions for the sake of Jesus Christ.
11. To rejoice in the happiness of God.
12. To do that which is most pleasing to Jesus Christ, and not to refuse him anything that is agreeable to him.
13. To desire and to endeavor that all should love Jesus Christ.
14. To pray always for sinners and for the souls in purgatory.
15. To drive from your heart every affection that does not belong to Jesus Christ.
16. Always to have recourse to the most holy Mary, that she may obtain for us the love of Jesus Christ.
17. To honor Mary in order to please Jesus Christ.
18. To seek to please Jesus Christ in all your actions.
19. To offer yourself to Jesus Christ to suffer any pain for his love.
20 To be always determined to die rather than commit a willful venial sin.
21. To suffer crosses patiently, saying, "Thus it pleases Jesus Christ."
22. To renounce your own pleasures for the love of Jesus Christ.
23. To pray as much as possible.
24. To practice all the mortifications that obedience permits.
25. To do all your spiritual exercises as if it were for the last time.
26. To persevere in good works in the time of aridity.
27. Not to do nor yet to leave undone anything through human respect.
28. Not to complain in sickness.
29. To love solitude, to be able to converse alone with Jesus Christ.
30. To drive away melancholy.
37. Often to recommend yourself to those persons who love Jesus Christ.
32. In temptation, to have recourse to Jesus crucified, and to Mary in her sorrows.
33. To trust entirely in the Passion of Jesus Christ.
34. After committing a fault, not to be discouraged, but to repent and resolve to amend.
35. To do good to those who do evil.
36. To speak well of all, and to excuse the intention when you cannot defend the action.
37. To help your neighbor as much as you can.
38. Neither to say nor to do anything that might vex him. And if you have been wanting in charity, to ask his pardon and speak kindly to him.
39. Always to speak with mildness and in a low tone.
40. To offer to Jesus Christ all the contempt and persecution that you meet with.
41. To look upon [religious] Superiors as the representatives of Jesus Christ.
42. To obey without answering and without repugnance, and not to seek your own satisfaction in anything.
43. To like the lowest employments.
44. To like the poorest things.
45. Not to speak either good or evil of yourself.
46. To humble yourself even towards inferiors.
47. Not to excuse yourself when you are reproved.
48. Not to defend yourself when found fault with.
49. To be silent when you are disquieted.
50. Always to renew your determination of becoming a saint, saying, "My Jesus, I desire to be all Yours, and You must be all mine."
1. To desire ardently to increase in the love of Jesus Christ.
2. Often to make acts of love towards Jesus Christ. Immediately on waking, and before going to sleep, to make an act of love, seeking always to unite your own will to the will of Jesus Christ.
3. Often to meditate on his Passion.
4. Always to ask Jesus Christ for his love.
5. To communicate often, and many times in the day to make spiritual Communions.
6. Often to visit the Most Holy Sacrament.
7. Every morning to receive from the hands of Jesus Christ himself your own cross.
8. To desire Paradise and death, in order to be able to love Jesus Christ perfectly and for all eternity.
9. Often to speak of the love of Jesus Christ.
10. To accept contradictions for the sake of Jesus Christ.
11. To rejoice in the happiness of God.
12. To do that which is most pleasing to Jesus Christ, and not to refuse him anything that is agreeable to him.
13. To desire and to endeavor that all should love Jesus Christ.
14. To pray always for sinners and for the souls in purgatory.
15. To drive from your heart every affection that does not belong to Jesus Christ.
16. Always to have recourse to the most holy Mary, that she may obtain for us the love of Jesus Christ.
17. To honor Mary in order to please Jesus Christ.
18. To seek to please Jesus Christ in all your actions.
19. To offer yourself to Jesus Christ to suffer any pain for his love.
20 To be always determined to die rather than commit a willful venial sin.
21. To suffer crosses patiently, saying, "Thus it pleases Jesus Christ."
22. To renounce your own pleasures for the love of Jesus Christ.
23. To pray as much as possible.
24. To practice all the mortifications that obedience permits.
25. To do all your spiritual exercises as if it were for the last time.
26. To persevere in good works in the time of aridity.
27. Not to do nor yet to leave undone anything through human respect.
28. Not to complain in sickness.
29. To love solitude, to be able to converse alone with Jesus Christ.
30. To drive away melancholy.
37. Often to recommend yourself to those persons who love Jesus Christ.
32. In temptation, to have recourse to Jesus crucified, and to Mary in her sorrows.
33. To trust entirely in the Passion of Jesus Christ.
34. After committing a fault, not to be discouraged, but to repent and resolve to amend.
35. To do good to those who do evil.
36. To speak well of all, and to excuse the intention when you cannot defend the action.
37. To help your neighbor as much as you can.
38. Neither to say nor to do anything that might vex him. And if you have been wanting in charity, to ask his pardon and speak kindly to him.
39. Always to speak with mildness and in a low tone.
40. To offer to Jesus Christ all the contempt and persecution that you meet with.
41. To look upon [religious] Superiors as the representatives of Jesus Christ.
42. To obey without answering and without repugnance, and not to seek your own satisfaction in anything.
43. To like the lowest employments.
44. To like the poorest things.
45. Not to speak either good or evil of yourself.
46. To humble yourself even towards inferiors.
47. Not to excuse yourself when you are reproved.
48. Not to defend yourself when found fault with.
49. To be silent when you are disquieted.
50. Always to renew your determination of becoming a saint, saying, "My Jesus, I desire to be all Yours, and You must be all mine."
2008/12/12
the value of suffering
One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realising it. And at the end of the roads there was a horrible precipice; that is the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings.
(Divine Mercy in My Soul, St Faustina)
(Divine Mercy in My Soul, St Faustina)
2008/12/07
some good quotes from 'the Imitation of Christ'
He who finds Jesus finds a rare treasure, indeed, a good above every good, whereas he who loses Him loses more than the whole world. The man who lives without Jesus is the poorest of the poor, whereas no one is so rich as the man who lives in His grace.
Choose the opposition of the whole world rather than offend Jesus. Of all those who are dear to you, let Him be your special love. Let all things be loved for the sake of Jesus, but Jesus for His own sake.
You must bring to God a clean and open heart if you wish to attend and see how sweet the Lord is.
When the grace of God comes to a man he can do all things, but when it leaves him he becomes poor and weak, abandoned, as it were, to affliction. Yet, in this condition he should not become dejected or despair. On the contrary, he should calmly await the will of God and bear whatever befalls him in praise of Jesus Christ, for after winter comes summer, after night, the day, and after the storm, a great calm.
Choose the opposition of the whole world rather than offend Jesus. Of all those who are dear to you, let Him be your special love. Let all things be loved for the sake of Jesus, but Jesus for His own sake.
You must bring to God a clean and open heart if you wish to attend and see how sweet the Lord is.
When the grace of God comes to a man he can do all things, but when it leaves him he becomes poor and weak, abandoned, as it were, to affliction. Yet, in this condition he should not become dejected or despair. On the contrary, he should calmly await the will of God and bear whatever befalls him in praise of Jesus Christ, for after winter comes summer, after night, the day, and after the storm, a great calm.
someone shared this with me..
The most beautiful heart
One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heartin the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or flaw in it. Yes. they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart
Suddenly,an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said,"Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly,but full of scars,it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in,but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact,in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.The people stared--how can he say his heart is more beautiful,they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed."You must be joking,"he said."Compare your heart with mine,mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."Yes," said the old man,"yours is perfect looking but i would never trade with you.You see,every scar represents a person to whom i have given my love,I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them,and often they give me a piece of theirheart which fits into the empty place in my heart,but because the pieces aren't exact,I have some rough edges, which i cherish,because they remind me of the love we shared.Sometimes i have given pieces of my heart away,and the other person hasn't returned apiece of his heart to me.
These are the empty gouges--giving love is taking a chance.Although these gouges are painful,they stay open,reminding me of the love i have for thesepeople too,and i hope someday they may return and fill the space i have waiting.So now do you see what true beauty is?"The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks.He walked up to the old man,reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart,and ripped a piece out.He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering,placed it in his heart and then took a piece from hisold scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.It fit, but not perfectly,as there were some jagged edges.The young man looked at his heart,not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever,since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.They embraced and walked away side by side.
Author unknown.
One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heartin the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or flaw in it. Yes. they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart
Suddenly,an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said,"Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly,but full of scars,it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in,but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact,in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.The people stared--how can he say his heart is more beautiful,they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed."You must be joking,"he said."Compare your heart with mine,mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."Yes," said the old man,"yours is perfect looking but i would never trade with you.You see,every scar represents a person to whom i have given my love,I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them,and often they give me a piece of theirheart which fits into the empty place in my heart,but because the pieces aren't exact,I have some rough edges, which i cherish,because they remind me of the love we shared.Sometimes i have given pieces of my heart away,and the other person hasn't returned apiece of his heart to me.
These are the empty gouges--giving love is taking a chance.Although these gouges are painful,they stay open,reminding me of the love i have for thesepeople too,and i hope someday they may return and fill the space i have waiting.So now do you see what true beauty is?"The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks.He walked up to the old man,reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart,and ripped a piece out.He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering,placed it in his heart and then took a piece from hisold scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.It fit, but not perfectly,as there were some jagged edges.The young man looked at his heart,not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever,since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.They embraced and walked away side by side.
Author unknown.
feast of the Immaculate Conception
Mary, I love you. Mary, make me live in God, with God, and for God. Draw me after you, holy mother. O Mary, may your children persevere in loving you Mary, Mother of God and mother of mercy, pray for me and for the departed. Mary, holy Mother of God, be our helper. In every difficulty and distress, come to our aid, O Mary. O Queen of Heaven, lead us to eternal life with God. Mother of God, remember me, and ahelp me always to remember you. O Mary, conceived without sin,pray for us who have recourse to you.Pray for us, O holy Mother of God,that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray to Jesus for me.
(St Philip Neri)
Most Holy Mary Virgin Mother of God, I am unworthy to be your servant. Yet moved by your motherly care for me and longing to serve you, I choose you this day to be my Queen, my Advocate, and my Mother. I firmly resolve ever to be devoted to you and to do what I can to encourage others to be devoted to you.My loving Mother, through the Precious Blood of your Son shed for me, I beg you to receive me as your servant forever. Aid me in my actions and beg for me the grace never by thought, word, or deed to be displesing in your sight and that of your most holy Son. Remember me, dearest Mother, and do not abandon me at the hour of death.
(St Francis de Sales)
My powerful Queen, you are all mine through your mercy,and I am all yours. Take away from me all that may displease God and cultivate in me all that is pleasing to him. May the light of your faith dispel the darkness of my mind, your deep humilitytake the place of my pride, your continual sight of God fill my memory with his presence. May the first of the love of your heart inflame the lukewarmness of my own heart. May your virtues take the place of my sins. May your merits be my enrichment and make up for all that is wanting in me before God. My beloved Mother, grant that I may have no other spirit but your spirit, to know Jesus Christ and his divine will and to praise and glorify the Lord,that I may love God with burning love like yours. Amen.
(St Louis de Montfort)
Virgin full of grace, I know that at Nazareth you lived modestly,without requesting anything more. Neither ecstasies, nor miracles, nor other extra ordinary deeds enhanced your life, O Queen of the elect. The number of the lowly, “the little ones,” is very great on earth. They can raise their eyes to your without any fear. You are the incomparable Mother who walks with them along the common way to guide them to heaven. Beloved Mother, in this harsh exile, I want to live always with youand follow you every day. I am enraptured by the contemplation of you and I discover the depths of the love of your heart. All my fears vanish under your motherly gaze, which teaches me to weep and to rejoice! Amen.
(St Therese of Lisieux)
Grant me, O Mary, that I may get to know the cross; not only Jesus’ cross, but whatever cross fits me best. (St Gemma Galgani)
Give us a heart as beautiful, pure, and spotless as yours. A heart like yours, so full of love and humility. May we be able to receive Jesus as the Bread of Life, to love him as you loved him, to serve him under the mistreated face of the poor. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen (Mother Teresa)
May the life of Blessed Mary be ever present to our awareness. In her, as in a mirror, the form of virtue and beauty of chastity shrine forth. She was virgin, not only in body, but in mind and spirit. She never sullied the pure affection of her heart by unworthy feelings. She was humble of heart. She was serious in her conversations. She was prudent in her counsels. She was preferred to pray rather than to speak. She united in her heart the prayers of the poor And avoided the uncertainty of worldly riches. She was ever faithful to hr daily duties, Reserved in her conversations, and always accustomed to recognize God as the Witness of her thoughts. Blessed be the name of Jesus. Amen (St Ambrose)
We honor you, O Mary, Mother of God, treasure of the universe, inextinguishable flame, crown of virginity, scepter of the true faith, indestructible temple, Tabernacle of the one whom the world cannot contain, and Mother and Virgin. ...In your virginal wombyou enclosed the immense andincomprehensible One. Through you the Trinity is glorifiedand the cross is celebrated and adoredeverywhere on earth. Through youthe heavens exult with joy,the angels and archangels are glad, demons are put to flight, the demon tempter is cast out of heaven, and our fallen nature has againbeen assumed into heaven. ...It is through you that the only-begotten Son of God, who is the Light, shone amid the nationswho were seated in darkness and the shadow of death. What human voice can ever worthily celebrate the ineffable greatness of Mary? She is Mother and Virginat the same time. Through herpeace has been restored to the world.What peace?Our Lord Jesus Christ,whom Mary has brought forth! (St Cyril of Alexandria)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,that never was it knownthat anyone who fled to your protection,implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided.Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you, O virgins of virgins, my Mother.To you I come, before you I stand, sinful an sorrowful.O Mother of the Word Incarnate,despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
(St Philip Neri)
Most Holy Mary Virgin Mother of God, I am unworthy to be your servant. Yet moved by your motherly care for me and longing to serve you, I choose you this day to be my Queen, my Advocate, and my Mother. I firmly resolve ever to be devoted to you and to do what I can to encourage others to be devoted to you.My loving Mother, through the Precious Blood of your Son shed for me, I beg you to receive me as your servant forever. Aid me in my actions and beg for me the grace never by thought, word, or deed to be displesing in your sight and that of your most holy Son. Remember me, dearest Mother, and do not abandon me at the hour of death.
(St Francis de Sales)
My powerful Queen, you are all mine through your mercy,and I am all yours. Take away from me all that may displease God and cultivate in me all that is pleasing to him. May the light of your faith dispel the darkness of my mind, your deep humilitytake the place of my pride, your continual sight of God fill my memory with his presence. May the first of the love of your heart inflame the lukewarmness of my own heart. May your virtues take the place of my sins. May your merits be my enrichment and make up for all that is wanting in me before God. My beloved Mother, grant that I may have no other spirit but your spirit, to know Jesus Christ and his divine will and to praise and glorify the Lord,that I may love God with burning love like yours. Amen.
(St Louis de Montfort)
Virgin full of grace, I know that at Nazareth you lived modestly,without requesting anything more. Neither ecstasies, nor miracles, nor other extra ordinary deeds enhanced your life, O Queen of the elect. The number of the lowly, “the little ones,” is very great on earth. They can raise their eyes to your without any fear. You are the incomparable Mother who walks with them along the common way to guide them to heaven. Beloved Mother, in this harsh exile, I want to live always with youand follow you every day. I am enraptured by the contemplation of you and I discover the depths of the love of your heart. All my fears vanish under your motherly gaze, which teaches me to weep and to rejoice! Amen.
(St Therese of Lisieux)
Grant me, O Mary, that I may get to know the cross; not only Jesus’ cross, but whatever cross fits me best. (St Gemma Galgani)
Give us a heart as beautiful, pure, and spotless as yours. A heart like yours, so full of love and humility. May we be able to receive Jesus as the Bread of Life, to love him as you loved him, to serve him under the mistreated face of the poor. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen (Mother Teresa)
May the life of Blessed Mary be ever present to our awareness. In her, as in a mirror, the form of virtue and beauty of chastity shrine forth. She was virgin, not only in body, but in mind and spirit. She never sullied the pure affection of her heart by unworthy feelings. She was humble of heart. She was serious in her conversations. She was prudent in her counsels. She was preferred to pray rather than to speak. She united in her heart the prayers of the poor And avoided the uncertainty of worldly riches. She was ever faithful to hr daily duties, Reserved in her conversations, and always accustomed to recognize God as the Witness of her thoughts. Blessed be the name of Jesus. Amen (St Ambrose)
We honor you, O Mary, Mother of God, treasure of the universe, inextinguishable flame, crown of virginity, scepter of the true faith, indestructible temple, Tabernacle of the one whom the world cannot contain, and Mother and Virgin. ...In your virginal wombyou enclosed the immense andincomprehensible One. Through you the Trinity is glorifiedand the cross is celebrated and adoredeverywhere on earth. Through youthe heavens exult with joy,the angels and archangels are glad, demons are put to flight, the demon tempter is cast out of heaven, and our fallen nature has againbeen assumed into heaven. ...It is through you that the only-begotten Son of God, who is the Light, shone amid the nationswho were seated in darkness and the shadow of death. What human voice can ever worthily celebrate the ineffable greatness of Mary? She is Mother and Virginat the same time. Through herpeace has been restored to the world.What peace?Our Lord Jesus Christ,whom Mary has brought forth! (St Cyril of Alexandria)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,that never was it knownthat anyone who fled to your protection,implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided.Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you, O virgins of virgins, my Mother.To you I come, before you I stand, sinful an sorrowful.O Mother of the Word Incarnate,despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
2008/12/06
St Therese, Story of a Soul, Chapter 2
"that same evening, when the sun appeared to be sinking into the vast stretch of the waters beyond a golden path of light, I went with you to sit upon a lonely rock. I gazed for ages on this path of light, and you said it was an image of the path to Heaven when grace lights up the way.Then I thought of my heart as a tiny ship with white and graceful sails gliding down the middle of a path of gold, and I resolved that I would never sail it out of sight of Jesus, so that it might voyage switfly and in peace toward the shores of Heaven".
a beautiful Christmas hymn
When blossoms flower e'er 'mid the snow,
Upon a winter night,
Was born the Child, the Christmas Rose,
The King of Love and Light.
The angels sang, the shepherds sang,
The grateful earth rejoiced;
And at His blessed birth the stars
Their exultation voiced.
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Christ the Lord.
Upon a winter night,
Was born the Child, the Christmas Rose,
The King of Love and Light.
The angels sang, the shepherds sang,
The grateful earth rejoiced;
And at His blessed birth the stars
Their exultation voiced.
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Christ the Lord.
"Tuus totus ego sum, et omnia mea tua sunt"
Recently i've been thinking a lot about this.. i think maybe i'll read that book by St Louis de Montfort. i'm still figuring out the theology.. i know it's approved by the Church, and - St Louis de Montfort is even being considered for Doctor of the Church!! :) so from the Catholic perspective, there is nothing wrong with this. the old Protestant in me is of course...much more skeptical.. but in my heart it somehow feels right, because i'm beginning to understand more the role that Mary has in my relationship with God... it is a beautiful idea to make this consecration and ask my Mother to present me to Jesus. i'll definitely be praying about all this..
i'd only do this once i'm officially in the Church and can receive the Eucharist, because i'd want to be more spiritually prepared and it is a big deal. i realize the gravity of it. it's essentially totally giving yourself up to God even to the point of being like a 'slave', being ready to do anything He asks. it even includes welcoming trials and suffering. it's not something to be taken lightly.. i feel very weak, unworthy, i don't think i could EVER be ready or strong enough for something like this.. yet i believe that God uses weakness, that if i rely on Him, He will give me strength to bear anything, and the grace to live entirely for Him. a part of me is afraid, because i really am very sinful and fearful and weak. But - on another hand, i rejoice in that, because that just makes it easier to surrender to God.. :) for the longest time i've been praying that He would help me love Him with all my heart, and i know that love isn't just a feeling, it involves sacrifice and is difficult.. and i believe that Mary, who loves God more than anyone, can teach me a lot about this. that's why i'm drawn to this whole idea.. i want to be more selfless, to TRULY put God first..
and i almost can't believe i'm even thinking about something like this, it seems like such a bold thing to do, because my sins are so great. but no matter what i want to trust in God's mercy. i trust that He will help me, even if i won't feel like He's helping me. so i hope that i am not being proud by thinking that i'm able to make a consecration like this, but - i am not relying on myself... i want to live entirely for God even if that means difficulty. but sometimes i'm afraid! i need Him so much.. nothing else matters, but Him.. He gave Himself entirely to me.. i want to do the same, because this is love..
maybe this would teach me to trust God like i never have before..
and i want that, i don't want to be lukewarm - if i'm going to follow Christ i want to follow all the way..
i'd only do this once i'm officially in the Church and can receive the Eucharist, because i'd want to be more spiritually prepared and it is a big deal. i realize the gravity of it. it's essentially totally giving yourself up to God even to the point of being like a 'slave', being ready to do anything He asks. it even includes welcoming trials and suffering. it's not something to be taken lightly.. i feel very weak, unworthy, i don't think i could EVER be ready or strong enough for something like this.. yet i believe that God uses weakness, that if i rely on Him, He will give me strength to bear anything, and the grace to live entirely for Him. a part of me is afraid, because i really am very sinful and fearful and weak. But - on another hand, i rejoice in that, because that just makes it easier to surrender to God.. :) for the longest time i've been praying that He would help me love Him with all my heart, and i know that love isn't just a feeling, it involves sacrifice and is difficult.. and i believe that Mary, who loves God more than anyone, can teach me a lot about this. that's why i'm drawn to this whole idea.. i want to be more selfless, to TRULY put God first..
and i almost can't believe i'm even thinking about something like this, it seems like such a bold thing to do, because my sins are so great. but no matter what i want to trust in God's mercy. i trust that He will help me, even if i won't feel like He's helping me. so i hope that i am not being proud by thinking that i'm able to make a consecration like this, but - i am not relying on myself... i want to live entirely for God even if that means difficulty. but sometimes i'm afraid! i need Him so much.. nothing else matters, but Him.. He gave Himself entirely to me.. i want to do the same, because this is love..
maybe this would teach me to trust God like i never have before..
and i want that, i don't want to be lukewarm - if i'm going to follow Christ i want to follow all the way..
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